“How long haven’t you slept for? I feel so guilty-”
“Don’t, some prick did this. This isn’t you. And you know I don’t sleep much anyway. I’m used to it,” I guarantee her that it’s fine and calm her until she falls asleep. I look at my phone when she’s sleeping deeply. I have a message.
Declan: Can’t sleep?
I check the message, it’s from one hour ago, when Maya woke up screaming.
Declan: I know you read the message.
When the second message appears, I hear steps to my room’s door.
Declan: Open the door, please.
Me: Maya is sleeping.
Declan: So should you be. Sammy will stay with Maya. Open the door, please.
Declan doesn’t say please often, so I put a pillow on my side of the bed and get out of Maya’s hold. I walk soundlessly until I’m in front of the door. I don’t know how Declan got Sammy to come here. She was so afraid to die too, that she didn’t step out of her home. She refused to. I didn’t visit her, I never left Maya’s side, except to shower and do basic hygiene, yet she was always in the room next to me.
I open the door when I hear a soft first knock. I see Sammy as I open it. She points at my phone. I check it and have a message from her.
Sammy: I was being unfair. I’ll stay with her for the rest of the night. You can go with Declan.
I look at her and mouth, “You sure?” She nods and I give her space to enter the room. That’s when I see Declan appear from behind her, he was in the complete darkness, I only saw his talk bulky silhouette.
“Dress this and follow me,” Declan requests, pointing at his favourite satin robe. He helps me put it on; his face remains emotionless as we walk downstairs. That’s when I see the setting he prepared.
We’ve got a night light illuminating the living room, a polar duvet, and Twilight’s beginning is playing on the TV. “You remember?” I ask him, and he nods.
“I remember everything about you,” Declan says, and I circle the couch to sit on it, but instead he scoops meinto his arms and lays me on top of him, on my side, with my head on his chest, and covers us with the duvet.
The details mean everything. For a long time on difficult nights, I could only sleep like this with either him or Rian. I still had nightmares, but I managed to get some rest, or at least close my eyes for more than a few minutes.
This is the exact position I was in with Declan when my grandmother died. “I don’t want to talk,” I warn Declan, and feel a chuckle on his rib cage.
“I don’t need you to talk,” Declan says, “But you can if it helps you sleep,” Declan adds, and I sigh.
“How are you handling everything so well?” I ask Declan, looking up, his dark blue eyes staring into the dark nothingness outside.
“I’m not. I need to seem like I am because everyone is counting on me. Plus, Rian is the emotional one; I have to step up. I would never let him feel the real weight of our legacy. He craves the darkness, the fights, the blood. Because he doesn’t deal with the behind-the-scenes duties. So I’m not handling everything well. I’m keeping an eye on everyone so that their will for revenge doesn’t get them killed,” Declan whispers, and I feel a shudder in his breathing. I look away as a tear falls from Declan’s eyes, but I hug him tight.
“You’re not alone, Dec. I’m here,” I promise him, “I’ll always be,” I vow to it, and Declan’s hand falls on top of mine on the side of his waist.
“You’re not alone either. I wasn’t present for a long time because I couldn’t face you and Rian withoutremembering my mother. I was ready to lose anyone but Rian and her. She was the only one who saw light within my darkness, until you entered the picture. I saw her in you. And I couldn’t stay, it was a constant reminder she was gone forever,” Declan pauses to take a deep breath, his body shaking, “What I didn’t realise was that by doing that I was losing you forever as well”
“Do you still see her in me?” I ask him, and he lifts my chin so that I’m looking at him.
“I do. But now I choose to see you as the light within my darkness,” Declan says. I can feel his warm breath on my lips. “Are you and Dominik a thing?” he questions, and I calculate my response. Declan is impulsive with his feelings, and him opening up about them is beyond rare. I don’t want to scare him off.
“No. I mean, I don’t know. We could be, but there was someone still in my mind that no matter how hard I tried to shake off my being, wouldn’t agree to be erased,” I admit and Declan’s lips crush against mine. My whole body feels alive, like it’s being recharged after years of running on low energy.
I deepen the kiss I’ve been craving for 4 years. Declan and I fight for dominance. When I’m done fighting, I almost see his smirk in my head, as he ravishes my being. I blame the lack of sleep for my poor judgment. I kissed him. I kissed Declan. There’s no coming back.
Declan parts our lips, and I slowly open my eyes to see him with the said smirk. He’s too beautiful for this reality, too painfully handsome.
“Don’t eye fuck me, Love, patience isn’t a skill I master,” Declan says and I roll my eyes, resting my head againagainst his chest.
“Are you admitting to having a field you don’t have expertise in?” I ask him laughing.
