Whatever part of me may have once hesitated or felt some hint of guilt burned out a long time ago. Or maybe it was never there to begin with.
“What a waste,” Ash mutters behind me.
After a few seconds to confirm my kill, I tuck my gun back into my jacket.
“How do you do that?” she asks.
“What?”
She gestures vaguely to the man with the hole in his head. “That. Like it’s nothing.”
There’s no judgment in it. No horror, only curiosity. Maybea little unease. She’s been working with me for several months now, and she’s never flinched away from a dead body. Or me making a dead body.
“It’s not nothing,” I answer. “It’s just not something I think about. I was a mercenary before my Ascension. I’ve killed plenty of people. This isn’t any different.”
But that’s not entirely true. It’s just that the difference doesn’t matter.
Dead is dead.
Before, it was more of a choice, quite literally a job. Now, it’s a means of survival, even though sometimes I’m not sure it’s worth the cost. They’re Ascended, like me. If I stopped to think about it for too long, I might see a part of myself in them, feel some kind of connection and hesitate. But I kill them because Malcolm believes they’re too powerful to be allowed off a leash, just like the one he’s got tied to me.
The problem is there are Ascended who are truly on Malcolm’s side, who need no incentive to do his bidding, who believe he’s creating something strong andgood. Going up against Malcolm means going up against, potentially, the rest of his army.
It’s something Ash and I have talked about, but not in so many words, skirting around how we feel because we can’t speak the truth.
Ash shifts, crossing her arms as she studies the dead man on the floor. “We could’ve taken him.”
“We tried.”
“Not very hard. You gave him one chance.”
“That’s all he gets.”
She clicks her tongue, like she doesn’t agree but doesn’t have a better argument either. Then, “What if we stopped?”
I raise a brow at her. “What?”
Her gaze stays on the body. “What if we stopped killing theones who say no? What if we didn’t bring the willing ones in? What if we helped them instead? Gave them another choice?”
I guess we’re not skirting around it anymore.
“Help them do what? Get hunted even further toward the edge of the earth?”
“Help themnotget caught. Hide them. Move them somewhere the Institute can’t find them. We’re the ones finding them first, right? We could report them dead but keep them alive.”
I glance down at the man at my feet, blood pooling beneath his head.
Too late for this one.
“We could build something,” she continues. “Our own network, our own people. There are more of us popping up every month. It’s a never-ending hunting trip that we could turn into a…community.”
“You mean a resistance?”
“Think about it, Reese. What happens when there’s enough of us on our side that we don’t needhimanymore?”
I stare at the body for another second, then tilt my head, considering. “Should’ve suggested that ten minutes ago.”
Ash lets out a short, humorless laugh. “Yeah, I’m working on my timing.”
