As his touch returned to my body, my mind drifted elsewhere. Back to a garden outside of a chateau in the country, where a boy with sun-warmed copper curls poured me a cup of tea, and my hands were stained with dirt instead of blood.
I was only vaguely aware as my back met the silken sheets of Rudderkin’s bed, the details of my surroundings dulled by the memory I clung to.
Around me, the heavy white fabric of the tent melted into shadow, and even though the weight of my mentor’s body had dissolved as well, I knew that I wasn’t alone.
The voice came once again, whispering sweet and soft.
“Ah, little one. So much pain you’ve endured. I understand.”
Tears, hot and plentiful, rolled down the sides of my head, vanishing into curls.
“I can take it all away,” my companion in the dark continued. “Make it as though it never happened at all. With us, there will be no pain. With us, you will never be alone.”
“What do you want from me?” I asked, words breaking around the sorrow that built in my throat.
“You’re strength, Azrael. You are strong. Strong enough to help us remake this world.”
I shook my head, more tears falling. “I can’t help you.”
“You can. And we can do the same for you. We can make you stronger. Take away the pain that holds you back. You are afraid you’re not doing enough for your kind. Who needs a Rebellion when you could take what you want? You could give it to your people. Hand the world over as an offering.”
I shook my head once more. “It’s not strength that I need.”
The voice hesitated, the shadows around me swirling in a whirl of motion that abruptly lifted me to my feet. Within the motion, a shape began to form, and before I could question it, a man stood before me, his emerald eyes shining like beacons in the darkness.
“Found you.”
Those two words splintered my heart, spoken from Tobias’s lips. I closed my eyes, forcing them shut so they would not believe the lie in front of me.
“Stop this at once!” I shouted into the dark.
A soft, warm hand on my cheek, and my eyes sprang open.
“I’ve been waiting for you, Azzy. Waiting for you to join us here. And now you’ve finally come.”
“Tobi? No, this can’t be real.”
“Why can’t it?”
“Because you’re back in Paradise.”
“My body is, yes. But you’ve seen stranger things, right? I’ve been here this entire time, waiting for you.Justyou.”
“But what about Bast?—”
Tobias pressed a finger to my lips to silence me.
“Just you, Azrael. A partner, like you’ve always wanted. We can have that here. We can be together for the rest of time.”
I pulled away from his touch, my mind racing. Whatever cruel magic had conjured this imposter, I couldn’t deny the longing that ravaged me. I wanted to embrace him. I’d never wanted anything more in all my days. And what if he was telling the truth?
“I love you.”
The words cut deeper than any blade ever had. They’d cleave me in two if I let them. My head was filled with nothing but my desire for this to be real.
“All I have to do is agree?” I asked into the dark.
Beside Tobias, the shadows pooled into the shape of a person with eyes that glowed like stars in the night sky.
