Did he keep her name or change it? Did he tell her about me?
There were so many questions whirling in my mind, and the only one who had the answers was the one that I was terrified to see.
Yet, if I wanted to see my child, I’d have to see him too.
With my elbow leaning on the armrest, I pinched the bridge of my nose and tried to shut off my mind.
Would this flight take me to all the answers, or to hell?
EIGHT
VIOLET
OVER NINE YEARS AGO
The pain came in waves, stealing the air from my lungs and leaving me gasping, fingers clawing at the sheets.
“Sophie…” I cried, sweat dripping into my eyes. “I can’t… do… this.”
My voice cracked as another contraction tore through me, sharp and merciless. A raw scream ripped out of my chest before I could stop it. It echoed off the walls of Sophie’s condo, and before another tore from my throat, I bit into my hand to smother the sound, focusing on a different pain. This had to stay a secret; if I kept screaming, someone would come.
“Breathe, Violet,” Sophie urged, her voice steady even though she looked white as a sheet. “Breathe.”
I tried to listen. I really did. But the agony made it impossible.
Sophie was right there with me, close enough that I could feel her warmth, hear every controlled breath she took as if she were trying to lend me her calm. But even with her beside me, I had never felt more alone.
I wanted my mom. I wanted her hand in mine, her voice telling me it would be okay, that I was safe, that I wasn’t doing this wrong. I’d always imagined my mom would be here with me for such a big life event, yet I’d been robbed of it and that made me so damn sad. It made me want to bawl my eyes out.
I’d kept my pregnancy a secret for the past nine months. Frankly, it wasn’t even hard since I’d already had no contact with my parents.
Sophie had beenitfor me. She’d been the only one by my side, applying her knowledge from her studies and residency on me. Honestly, it was pathetic and sad how easy it was to hide this pregnancy from the world. It just showed there was nobody in this world who cared about me at all.
The thought made my next contraction feel unbearable.
She wasn’t here. She would never be here for me.
My father had abandoned me long before we buried Lily. He promised to give me a taste of his loss. An eye for an eye, he’d said. He’d lost Lily, so I would lose any children I dared to have. A promise he intended to keep.
Another contraction built and I cried out, the sound muffled by my hand while Sophie’s grip on me tightened.
“Nobody can know—” My voice broke. “Nobody?—”
“I know,” Sophie promised, cupping my cheek and holding my gaze.
My father didn’t make empty threats. His words, spoken to me ten years ago, were a vow. My childhood around him and my mom’s constant fear and flinching around him were proof of that.
That was why I was here and not in a hospital. That was why I kept my pregnancy a secret.
“You’re doing good,” Sophie said firmly, brushing damp hair from my face. “Forget everything and focus on pushing. You’re safe here, okay?”
I sucked in a breath as the contraction finally eased, my whole body trembling from the effort of enduring it.
“I didn’t want my baby to come into the world like this,” I whispered, tears spilling down my cheeks and into my ears.
Sophie’s expression softened.
“I know, but we’ll fight for your baby,” she said quietly. “We’ll figure out what we need to do. I will help. My cousin will help.”
