“Which was?”
“That I didn’t want anyone else to have you, touch you, kiss you. It was my worst fear you’d show up with some black-tie perfect schmuck who would think he could be a father to my child. Of course, I would never allow that.”
“And later?” I prompted him to continue. Lykos’s fierce attitude could be scary and a turn-on, but it was important we lay it all out and be honest with each other.
He sighed.
“And later, I admitted it was because I wanted you only for myself. I knew I couldn’t have you. I was a married man, but…”
He trailed off, and when it looked like he wasn’t going to continue, I encouraged him. “And?”
“I hoped that life would give me a second chance with you, even though I didn’t deserve it. My blue balls were killing me, and maybe a reasonable man would have found a way to move on with a woman without standards and morals. But I wanted you. I needed you. I told myself I was trying to be a good husband, but if we’re being honest, I was being faithful to you from the moment you touched me that cold winter night.”
“Okay, then,” I breathed in a barely audible voice while we stared at each other, two lonely humans who had spent so many years alone while always thinking of each other.
“Are you shocked?”
“Yes and no,” I admitted. “Because a part of me thought about you and wanted you too. Yes, I went on dates, but I’ve always compared them to you. Their eyes, their smile, everything.”
“Really?”
“Yes, really.”
In all the years of my profession, I never truly understood how vulnerable my patients felt. Until now. It was equally empowering and terrifying to tell someone how you feel. There was a fear of rejection, ridicule, and that fragile, vulnerable feeling of hope that you’re scared would get squashed.
Yet, here we were. Both of us were equally vulnerable and equally starved for one another.
“Don’t kill any more men on my behalf. Okay?” I added in a soft voice.
He remained silent, watching me. “I can’t make that promise. Not right now.”
My brow furrowed. “But I won’t be going on dates with any other men anymore.”
He nodded. “That’s good. It’ll save the population of men. They can have other women; you’re mine.”
I let out an incredulous breath, stuck between laugh and shock. “No beating around the bush.”
“We’ve wasted too much time already, golden one,” he rasped. His dark eyes studied me. “You look tired.”
I let out a heavy breath, somewhat grateful for the change of subject. “It’s been a long day.”
“It has, and it’s high time we went to bed, don’t you think?” My mind went straight to the gutter and my cheeks heated. Yes, I was exhausted, but a part of me didn’t want to be alone. “But shower first.”
He stood and came around the desk, extending his hand. For a moment, it was as if time stopped. If I took his hand, there was no going back, and I knew it. Not that I wanted to go back to my old life without him.
This—him—was what I wanted.
I stood up, closed the distance between us, and wrapped my hand with his.
When we entered his bedroom, he tugged me into the en suite where he removed my stained pajamas with such reverence it made my heart tremble. Gosh, how I loved the feel of his hands on my skin, but that was nothing compared to the look of pure admiration and adoration in his eyes.
Starting the shower, he shed his own pajamas, his magnificent body, which I didn’t get to fully appreciate ten years ago, coming into view. Our circumstances had changed and I had no intention of wasting another minute for my life to start.
I wanted this man. I wanted a family. I wantedthisfamily.
As we stepped into the shower, he gently washed my body, taking his time.
“Every single part of you is so beautiful,” he rasped, drawing a shuddering breath from my lips while I stared at his perfectly toned body.
