I run harder and harder until my lungs burn and my legs shake. Time passes. Sweat pebbles on my skin, a thin trickle streaming into my right eye, making it burn. I swipe the back of my hand against my forehead, speeding up.
I love you.
Lochlan’s voice loops through my mind. Even in my memories, it still makes me shiver. I still remember the first time he said it, how my heart swelled at the look of adoration in his eyes. I don’t remember a time I felt so happy, so hopeful, and so excited for the future. With him by my side.
I love you.
Falling for him was the last thing I wanted to have happen. I shot him down so many times and he never stopped trying to break through my cold shell, to make sure I knew how special he thought I was, how impressive, how strong. He made me feel like I could do anything, be anything. He gave me comfort and security I never knew I needed.
I love you.
I ball my hands into tight fists.
“No,” I pant. “It doesn’t freaking matter.”
But doesn’t it, if he’s all I think about? If my heart shatters over and over again every time his face flashes in my mind because I know he’s no longer part of my life? If I can’t sleep without him holding me? If I can’t even look at a plate of bacon and eggs without remembering our kitchen breakfast dates with Reaper?
I’ve never been one to forgive easily. It’s part of the armor, I guess. Screw me once, and you’re pretty much dead to me. Idon’t give second chances, and it’s served me well over the years. Business-wise, anyway.
But living like that is fucking lonely. It keeps me protected. Not necessarily happy.
The thought stops me cold.
And then I look up and realize where I am.
The bridge.
I swallow hard and stare at the spot where Lochlan kissed me for the first time. Where he pulled me against him in the middle of a run and kissed me like he’d been waiting his whole life to do it.
The city lights shimmer on the water below. It’s beautiful. Peaceful. The kind of view I used to love before everything fell apart.
I collapse against the railing, my breaths still a little ragged.
“You never learn, do you?”
I jump and spin around, heart slamming against my ribs.
Lochlan steps out of the shadows. He’s in jeans and a Black Sabbath t-shirt with a baseball cap pulled low over his eyes. God, he looks so hot in a cap. I didn’t think it was possible, but it is. And I melt against the railing, my knees wobbling.
I hate that I notice how gorgeous he is. I hate that my body still responds to him like nothing’s changed.
“What the hell are you doing here?” I ask.
“I could ask you the same thing.” He edges closer. “You can’t be out here by yourself. It’s too dangerous.”
I laugh, but it’s bitter and sharp. “You were the biggest danger to me, and I was too stupid to see it coming.”
He flinches. But he doesn’t stop moving toward me.
“Don’t.” I hold up a hand, my heart pounding so hard, it makes me dizzy. “Don’t come any closer.”
He stops, keeping a few feet between us. But he doesn’t back away.
“How did you find me? Did you follow me?”
“Wolfe.” He flashes a sheepish smile. “He’s been keepingtabs on your phone. Made me promise not to approach you unless?—”
“Unless what? Unless I was alone and vulnerable in the middle of the night on a bridge?”
