“I’ve got you,” she whispers, “You’re not alone, I’ll stand beside you every step of the way, I love you so much, Clark, you are my family.”
I hold onto her while wishing things were different, wishing this wasn’t my life.
I wish I had never come into the clubhouse that day.
Chapter 3
Trick – Five Years Later
I slowly move my black wedding ring around my finger, eyeing it, while chatter echoes around me in the café, but I don’t pay any attention, my mind elsewhere like always.
Yesterday was my wedding anniversary, five years married to my best friend's sister, my friend who still to this day barely speaks to me. To be fair, I’m never home, just like I wasn’t yesterday.
I don’t willingly communicate with her, if anything, I have pushed her away to the point where we're merely co-parents for our daughter, her being the only reason why we speak.
Willow June White, who is the spitting image of her mother with dark green eyes and dark red curly hair, the curls she got from me, is my fucking everything.
Her mother is also my everything, not that Clark is aware of that, and she never will be…
I sigh as I run a hand through my hair. I’m in Rose Hill, three hours out of town, where Cage, after he did five stints in prison, had ended up after we forced him to go nomad before he killed himself.
Women, drugs, booze, you name it, he fucking went off the deep-end, and we had no choice but to intervene.
I’m wearing my VP patch, something that took Chains a lot to convince me to wear and Cage has roughly four months to get his shit together and take his place. His dad has said he’s just keeping the seat warm until he returns home which hopefully, now that Cage has met and fallen for Drew, a local ballerina, he’ll want to come home. Preferably, before Chains gets it in his head to kidnap Drew just to get his son back.
The man had finally snapped, and against my generation’s wishes, he forced us all to take our rightful places within the club so we’re ready for when Cage comes home. We just, uh, we have to convince him, because the fucker is adamant he shouldn’t be in charge.
He feels like he failed us, and believe me, I understand that fucking feeling all too well with my wife, but he needs to understand we don’t blame him, we don’t hold any grudges.
Angie was his little follower, his best friend, and losing her the way he did, the way we all did, it was devastating, but we need him, fuck, I need him.
Five years and I’ve realized I am undoubtably, undeniably, completely, in love with my wife, who hates me, and I need my friend before I fall off the fucking wagon.
I shake my head and lean back in the booth, continuing to play with my ring.
I think I’ve always had feelings for Clark. Every time she was near, I gravitated towards her. My body hummed, if we touched,I got electric shocks, but I pushed it all away, thinking maybe it was because she was my friend. Don’t get me wrong I knew she was beautiful, kind, funny, sweet, and I knew I was attracted to her, but I didn’t want to admit my body was telling me it was more. The day I realized it was more, was two days after our wedding and I went to Carnage Angels, the clubs strip club and while a pissed off Lavender scowled, I dragged Trixie to the bathrooms adamant to fuck her.
As soon as her lips touched my neck, I fucking panicked. I felt like I was cheating. In five years, I haven’t touched anyone. I haven’t wanted anyone except my wife, fuck, she was the last person I slept with, but she doesn’t want me. I forced our marriage on her instead of letting her run.
I forced the marriage without realizing I needed her tied to me but I’m not one hundred percent sure she hasn’t been seeing other people and that fucking hurts, a lot.
“Sorry, brother, a client was running late,” Cage sighs as he takes a seat opposite me then asks, “You ready to hit the road?” as he puts his longer hair on the top of his head into a bun, showing off his short back and sides.
I nod and confirm, “Yeah, your dad called several times, he’s annoying me.”
Cage winces before he says, “I’ve dodged his calls. The more he demands I return, the more I pull away which is probably why he’s bugging you.”
I swallow as I lock eyes with his dark brown ones, and I admit, “I need my best friend home, brother, I’m struggling, I don’t know what to do.”
He sighs as he sits forward and links his fingers on the table.
“Clark believing your fucking around isn’t the way to go about it, Miles, you’re pushing her away, yet you can’t breathe without her,” he says, getting right to the point, “You’ve been in love with her since you gave her the nickname, why keep pushingher away? Why not tell her how you truly feel and be a proper family?”
“Because I raped her,” I whisper.
Cage tenses then growls, “That didn’t fucking happen, you know this! You’ve told me about the flashbacks, about the little memories you’ve been having, the connection you felt despite what was in your systems, you didn’t rape her, you were both drugged!”
“Tell my head that!” I snap, pointing to my head, “I can’t seem to escape that feeling.”
