“Fuck.” Hal hung his head and laughed shakily.
The game seemed to be temporarily forgotten as Hal dropped the cue stick and flattened his hands on the table, pushing himself up a bit. He ground his ass into Lucas’ crotch, his breath growing labored.
The twins looked on with glee, clinging to each other. Their hands began to roam all over one another’s bodies, under their shirts, down their pants. That first impression of “innocence” proved to be an illusion. Though even amidst their boldfondling, they somehow retained an angelic aura about them.
The temperature in the rec room was climbing rapidly as Lucas and Hal cast off any precarious inhibition. Hal turned around and clutched Lucas’ head, diving into an intensely fierce kiss. Lucas shoved him up on the edge of the pool table and pushed between his legs, rocking against Hal’s bulging crotch.
Dylan’s head went light so suddenly his legs almost buckled.
“You okay?” Garrett asked, concerned.
“I…I need some air…” He had to get out of there. His heart hammered in his chest and head and he thought he might pass out if he didn’t go now.
“Come on.” Garrett took his arm and led him out of the room and down a narrow hallway, through a door, and out into the spacious backyard. Dylan took a couple deep breaths and his head immediately cleared. “You gonna be okay?”
Dylan nodded and rubbed his brow. “I don’t know what the hell happened. I just got dizzy all of the sudden.”
“The atmosphere of this place can be overwhelming.”
“Yeah.” Dylan dragged his palms down his face and took another deep breath.
Garrett walked with him across the lawn toward a large hammock. “Can I ask you an honest question?”
Dylan nodded.
“Are you here of your own free will—or because Hal pushed you into it?”
“I…” Dylan leaned against one of the trees that held up the hammock. “I don’t know. I mean, I agreed to come, he didn’t hogtie me and drag me here.”
Garrett chuckled. “I didn’t figure it happened that way.” He looked at Dylan sincerely. “But did you really want to do this, or did he keep at you until you gave in?”
Confusion clouded his mind. He didn’t want to make it look like Hal forced him into this, but how willing had he been, really? He’d been coming out of a drunken stupor in which he nearly fucked his best friend. How rational could he have been? And why didn’t he back out once his head cleared? When he expressed doubt a couple times, Hal had insisted he would have the time of his life here.
“I don’t know,” Dylan whispered. “Hal’s a good guy. He can get overzealous at times, but he wouldn’t try to make me do something I didn’t want to do. Or something hethoughtI wanted to do.”
“The question is…is this something you want to do, or something he onlythinksyou want to do?” Garrett gazed at him. “Do you want to leave, Dylan?”
Dylan had been asking himself that same question since he arrived. A part of him thought the answer should be straightforward and simple, but something kept him from walking away.
“I…I don’t know.” That seemed to be the only answer he had for Garrett’s questions. But it was his honest answer. Hedidn’tknow. His rational mind insisted he didn’t belong here, that hewasn’tcurious anddidn’twant to fuck a guy. But here he stood, still on the grounds, making no effort to get away before things went too far. “To be honest, I’m so fucking confused right now.”
“Confused?” Garrett asked quietly. “About your sexuality?”
“Maybe…yeah…fuck, I don’t know.”
Garrett rubbed the nape of his neck. “Since the incident with Hal, have you thought about being with a man at all?”
“I thought…I thought about what happened with Hal, kept playing it over in my mind.” He shook his head. “I think I was trying to figure out why I did those things with him.”
Nodding slowly, Garrett murmured, “Why do you think you let it happen?”
Dylan stared at him. “You think I’m gay, don’t you? And that’s why I did it?”
“Doesn’t matter what I think,” Garrett said. “What counts is what you believe.”
Dylan looked away. “I was drunk off my ass,” he mumbled. “How am I supposed to know if it was just the alcohol…or something else?”
“In the interview with Gideon, you seemed readier to do this than you do now. What changed?”
