“It was like when I walked in the rec room it all became real.” He rubbed his mouth. “Up until that moment, everything—even the stuff with Hal—felt like a dream. When I saw all you guys and the way everyone was looking at me like they wanted to jump my bones…” he laughed nervously. “It scared the fuck out of me. All of the sudden, I wasn’t sure about anything anymore.”
“Understandable,” Garrett murmured. “Coming to terms with one’s self can be very confusing and frightening.”
His words confirmed his stance on Dylan’s preferences. But Dylan remained uncertain. “You really do think I’m gay, don’t you?”
Garrett sighed. “I’ll tell you what Gideon believes about all this, and why he started the curious boys segment.”
“Okay…”
“Gideon believes there is no amount of money you could give a truly heterosexual male to have sex with another man, certainly not on camera where anyone would be able to find it. It’s his deduction that if these boys are curious enough to have sex with men on camera—they’re not one-hundred-percent straight…and it’s his hope that those who sign on for the segment will walk away with a clearer understanding of who they are.” He smiled. “It isn’t just about the sexual entertainment and money for Gideon. He genuinely cares about the wellbeing of everyone who sets foot in his house. He wants you to come away from this stronger and loving who you are, gay or straight.”
Dylan was shocked. He’d instantly liked Gideon as soon as they met, but he had no idea the man was so deep or that something as socially taboo as porn could serve an actual purpose apart from sexual gratification.
“You said that you didn’t know if it was just the influence of the alcohol that night with Hal,” Garrett said. “Personally, I don’t think even getting shitfaced would spur a completely straight guy to get sexual with another man. It might kill the inhibitions that kept him in the closet or suppressed his curiosities, but not create something that wasn’t there in the first place.”
“What’re you getting at?” Dylan whispered.
“I think you’re so hesitant about the shoot because you haven’t confirmed to yourself that you really want to be here, and that…you like men.” Garrett took a step closer but paused before he invaded Dylan’s personal space. “Maybe you need to test it. Then you would know for sure if what happened with Hal was a part of yourself trying to emerge…or if it was just a fluke incident.”
Dylan swallowed hard. “Test it…how?”
Garrett smiled. “Let me kiss you.”
Let Garrett kiss him.
It wasn’t an unreasonable request considering where he was or why he was here. He’d come to Gideon’s home to do a lot more than just kiss. Yet he was suddenly very nervous about that small act of intimacy. Dylan had never kissed a man while he was sober. This could be the defining moment in which he learned the truth about himself…and he didn’t know if he was ready for it.
Might as well face the music and get it over with.
Wasn’t it better to know what was what—than continue to stress about it?
“If you don’t like it,” Garrett said, “you can tell me.” His eyes were warm and understanding and helped sooth Dylan’s nerves. “I promise I won’t be offended. Like I said, this is a test to see how you react to a man’s affection. You’re not obligated to feel something.”
Dylan nodded, his uncertainty holding. “Okay…”
Garrett laughed softly. “Relax. It’s just a kiss. It won’t hurt, I swear. In fact, I have it on good authority that I’m a pretty good kisser.” He took another step closer. “Let’s see if you agree.”
The tree pressed firmly against Dylan’s back as Garrett stepped up before him. He stared into the man’s eyes and started to get lost in their depth when Garrett caressed his fingertips across Dylan’s cheeks, bringing him back closer to reality.
Dylan tensed, and Garrett whispered, “Relax.” His lips touched Dylan’s mouth, soft and tentative, allowing the kiss to evolve without force. Dylan trembled, and his stomach flip-flopped a couple times as Garrett gently ran his fingers through Dylan’s hair and the kiss deepened.
His lips parted on their own and welcomed Garrett’s tongue into his mouth. It was strong and tasted sweet, minty as if he’d just brushed his teeth or had been chewing gum. When Dylan heard the moan, he thought it came from Garrett—then felt the soft vibration in his own throat.
For a moment, he was lost in a haze. Then it cleared as suddenly as if a strong wind blew through his head. Every nerve in his body came alive as the heat of Garrett’s body flowed into him as the man gently pinned him to the tree. The ache in his crotch became his full focus and he subconsciously pushed against Garrett, experiencing the porn star’s own massive erection. Dylan grabbed fistfuls of Garrett’s shirt, pulling him tighter against him, hungrily sucking his tongue as his breath grew shorter and quicker.
Garrett groaned into his mouth, squeezed his head, then pulled from the kiss, his face flushed, and eyes lightly glazed. He swallowed and licked his lips, then smiled. “So,” he panted. “Did you feel anything?”
