“I’ll be all right.” Micah smiled. “I won’t go far. I just…need to clear my head.”
Wendy frowned and glanced at her husband. “Is everything all right?”
“Yeah,” Micah murmured. “Just dealing with some things. Nick can explain.”
“Okay…” Wendy looked doubtful as she came forward and fussed with Micah’s coat, making sure he was bundled up tight. “You have your phone with you?”
He smiled. “Yes.”
“Don’t stay out in the cold too long.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
She rolled her eyes and leaned up, planting a kiss on his cheek. “Smart alec.”
∞∞∞
The snow crunched beneath his feet. His dress shoes weren’t made for the snow and a chill quickly invaded his toes. He bravedfrostbiteand continued on. The warm romantic atmosphere in the Mandrake home was more than he could handle just now. Micah tried to take comfort in Nick’s words of encouragement but was having a difficult time pulling them down into his heart. He hadn’t known how to properly explain to Nick what he was feeling and why he believed he might be permanently damaged inside. He wanted to believe that Nick was right, that there was someone special out there meant only for him. But he’d been dead serious about it taking a miracle for them to meet. He honestly believed that.
If only he believed in miracles as well.
Christmas lights lit up the neighborhood, spilling a rainbow of colors across the fresh blanket of snow. Holiday music filtered out some homes and brought a small smile to Micah’s face. Christmas was both his favorite and worst time of year. When his dad decided to finally leave them—it was on Christmas Eve. For quite some time, the Christmas season had been tainted for Micah. His perceptions began to change when he started spending the holidays with Nick and Wendy, though the bad memories remained in the shadows of his mind, preventing him from experiencing a trulyMerryChristmas.
Micah picked up the pace, suddenly eager to be out of the neighborhood and away from the festive homes. The kinds of homes he dreamed of having as a boy but always awoke to the same cold place where love no longer lived, and despair had become a permanent resident.
He wished he could experience Christmas with all the joy of the season and none of the bad memories to stain it. He had little hope that wish would come true. But the joy that the Mandrakes brought to his life during the holiday season and all year around was enough to thwart the worst of the memories. Most of the time. Tonight, the battle within seemed greater, stronger than ever before.
Micah left the neighborhood behind and passed through the town park. A gravel path led from one side to the other, though tonight it was hidden beneath layers of snow. The sky had cleared off and moonlight shimmered off the snow-laden swing set and merry-go-round. A small mound of snow piled at the bottom of the slide and along the boards of the teeter-totters. Micah had visited the park with Nick, Wendy, and Eli on occasions. But it looked different at night amidst the snowscape and moonlight—like an arctic landscape, pure and pristine…untouched by the world.
Arctic.Your bed must be arctic at this point.
Nick’s words brought the smile back to Micah’s face. It had been months—nearly a year—since a man had shared his bed. Even with the lack of emotional tethering, he missed the warmth and presence of a masculine body between his sheets. Maybe that alone was reason enough to start dating again. But sex wouldn’t sustain him—merely become a painful reminder all over again that he wasn’t capable of falling in love.
Expect a miracle.
Micah paused in the center of the park and turned his eyes to the heavens. Though the sky was clear, specs of crystalline snowflakes drifted down from the dark abyss above and gently kissed his face, immediately melting and running down his cheeks like tears. He spoke to God often but rarelyaskedfor things—especially not big things. And never—miracles.Was it easier not to ask, than to ask and be disappointed when God didn’t grant it?
“I don’t know how to ask for what I want,” he whispered to the night sky. “Maybe because I’m afraid you won’t answer.” He swallowed thickly and lowered his eyes. “I just…I want the emptiness to go away. I don’t want to be alone anymore.” He raised his eyes again and warm tears trickled down his temples. “If you’re still a God of miracles…maybe you could spare just one?”
He left it at that and walked out of the park, taking a side street. He wasn’t all that familiar with the backstreets of the town. Most of his time spent here was at the Mandrake home. He thought about turning around and going back but wasn’t ready to crawl into an empty bed and be alone with his thoughts. Tonight, his thoughts weren’t merciful. And his heart lonely and unsettled.
Micah rounded the block and his feet faltered, and he just stood and stared. The little diner sat quietly to itself, a soft welcoming glow in the windows. The scene he found himself in suddenly reminded him of the romantic movie they’d watched earlier. A random encounter in an out-of-the-way diner that manifested in a miracle of love.
Looking up to heaven, Micah raised an eyebrow. “Really? A random diner on Christmas Eve?” He smiled and shook his head. “Now, I suppose you expect me to walk in there and…what…witness the miracle of love?”
The stars twinkled, and one brighter star seemed to wink at him.
He sighed. “I’ll humor you.” He looked at the diner. “But only because my feet are cold, and I could use a hot cup of coffee.”
