When I die…
In another life, a not so fucked-up reality, where my life wasn’t literally blown up. I would have been a different person. A better person. Not as bitter. Not as cynical.
Sometimes I imagine it, in a life where I would have just been Carter.
I’m not quite a mile away from the clubhouse when I notice Khan, frantic, as he stares off in what looks like a daze. The look alone on Khan’s face is shocking.
Slowing my bike and veering toward where they stand. Fury moves over and kneels down. As he walks past the heap of material in the middle of the road, my eyes stop as I take in the black metal. I’m positive that it could be destroyed, and I could still identify the pieces of Ash’s bike. Finally, moving my eyes to where Fury kneels, I bring my bike to a stop, standing up and walking over to where Khan is standing, and I now understand why they were both staring in dismay because I can’t fucking move now.
“ASH!” Fury shouts into his face. Ash’s eyes are so wide as he looks all around before he reaches up with one hand, grasping at Fury. Fury is panicking as he looks over at Ash. The blood drips down the side of his head and forms on the ground. His hair has already become matted with the red liquid, and I can’t even tell where it’s coming from at this point. His face is already swelling to the point where I can barely recognize him.
“We already called 911.” A woman standing next to the minivan tells Khan, and he nods a thank you before he turns back and glances at me.
“Fuck,” he mutters, shaking his head.
“Where’s his dome?” I’m really asking myself, but Khan just shakes his head.
“I have no clue.” He mutters.
“What hurts?” Fury mutters, asking Ash as he kneels down next to him.
After a few minutes of a panicked search from Fury, Ash’s words nearly knock me over. “Fury?” It’s just barely a whisper, but I can tell that he’s shocked at the fact that Fury is here. Then he grasps a hold of Fury’s shirt tighter, but he’s looking up, not actually at Fury. The asphalt is turning red all around him and I can see the blood soaking into Fury’s jeans. “It’s dark.” It’s a simple statement that holds a massive amount of weight as I realize what he is saying. “I can’t see.”
“It’s okay, brother.” Fury tells him as he glances back up at us and I can see the tears already forming in his eyes. “EMS will be here soon.”
“What?” Ash tries to push himself and Fury panics.
“Don’t do that. You-uh-you’ll hurt yourself.” He tells him as his voice cracks.
“Where are we?”
“Ash, it’s okay.” Fury nearly bites out at him and somehow coaxes him to lie back down.
“Fur, I saw it.” Every word he says is still barely over a whisper, I’m not even sure if he’s capable of speaking any louder at this moment,as Khan nods to me and we both move forward.
“You saw what, brother?” Fury looks over at us as he mouths to keep him awake.
“I saw what my life would have been.” He’s still starting straight up in the sky, but even in the bright afternoon sun, he doesn’t even squint. “A family.” He continues.
“A family?” Fury asks him and I actually see a slight smile spread on Ash’s face even as the blood drips out of the corners of his mouth, down both sides of his head, out of his ears, and what looks like a pink liquid is coming out of his nose.
I can hear the ambulance sirens in the distance.
“Kids.” He whispers and I can’t help but notice Khan’s eyes go wide. “Twins and a little girl.” Then he whispers again. “When I die… tell her I love her.” He whispers out, grabbing a hold of Fury’s arm. “Tell her, I’m sorry. Tell her she would have been a great mother and I’m sorry I fucked that all up for us...”
“You will not die.” Fury chokes out through sob. The lights of the ambulance stop next to us as the paramedics get out, looking at Ash as we stand around him. “You can’t die, grasshopper.” Fury sounds like he’s pleading with him. “Who’s going to get Eliza to sleep when she doesn’t want to?” There’s a quiet chuckle that comes out of Ash’s mouth before he winces and groans.
Khan steps up and starts talking, “Who’s going to help me intimidate boys who hurt Liv.” Ash chuckles again.
“Khan, you’re here.” He whispers before he chuckles once more, “Fury’s bigger than I am and the girls are the same age so that one will probably be easier.”
“Please,” Fury laughs out, “I may be bigger, but I’m pretty sure you’re still much scarier than I am.” Ash smirks again as he just continues to stare up at the sky.
Khan glances over at me. I’m shocked when I see a mist in his eyes as he pleads with me to add something. “Who’s going to bust my balls when they need to be.” Ash laughs slightly louder than he did before as a paramedic rushes past us and to him.
It doesn’t take much sense to determine that we know him based on us all wearing the same cut. “Life-Flight is in route.” The paramedic says as he glances down at him. “What hurts?” He asks Ash, who then laughs.
“I can’t really feel anything at the moment.” He tells him and I can see his lids slowly close.
