I’m shaking, and I feel like complete shit. I start to move off of the bed when I hear yelling outside of the door.
I’ve been in here for a few days. Ro gave me one of his shirts the other day that I have been wearing since. He will unlock my wrist a few times a day to go to the restroom, but unbeknownst to him, he’s unaware of the small stash I still have in my bookbag, I’ve just kept enough distance between us that he can’t really tell when I’m fucked up. He comes in the bedroom late and wakes up early, I’m curious if he never really sleeps or is this just because I’m here?
He doesn’t try and talk to me, just keeps his distance on the other side of the bed. Not touching me, not invading my space, he’ll just take a shower, slide into the bed, and within moments he’s asleep. I’ve never understood how people do that.
Somehow, his scent relaxes me. I sleep better once he slides into bed, even if I pretend to be asleep.
And I’ve woken up at least once to his arm casually draped over top of me. I know he didn’t intentionally do it, but the excitement that erupted through me… well, that’s something I’m not sure I’m ready to divulge into, yet.
Shit, I just need to get to my bag.I hesitate until the noise filters back down the hallway, and I exhale. Sliding off of the bed, and reaching across the room, to where I tossed the bag earlier when I heard him coming in, catching me off guard. It’s right out of reach.
One foot on the ground, I stretch my body as much as I can. Balancing myself with the foot on the ground, as I reach out with my other, and barely touch the bag. “Shit.” Pulling against the cuff around my wrist, I can feel the metal threatening to cut into me, but I continue to pull against it, anyway. Finally able to hook my foot into the strap of the bag and tug it over towards me. Reaching over, I grab it off of the floor, picking it up, and opening up the front pocket. Finding the bobby pin in the small pocket.Thank God.I think to myself. As I grab the marker that I was originally coming after, that little voice in my mind telling me I need it, starting to scream at me.
Exhaling, I slip the bobby pin into my hair so that I don’t lose it, and reach up with my right hand to meet my cuffed hand. Popping the bottom of the marker open, and letting two pills slip out of the marker’s shell. I toss them into my mouth and quickly swallow. Sighing out in relief, before I lean back onto the bed, shoving the marker into my pillowcase, and letting myself start to nod off.
The shouting down the hallway wakes me up, and I quickly toss the bag across the room to about where it was. Then I lay down and pretend that I’m still asleep. I feel a hint of jealousy spread through me as I wonder if he has been down in the lounge with one of the club bunnies pressed up against him. I mean, I’m sure that he is.
I wonder if he’s a big enough asshole to bring her back to his room while I’m in here.
I hear the door crack open, as the music from the lounge grows louder, but then dies back down as I hear the door shut. Boots on the floor cross the room, I feel relief when I confirm that it is only one set of footsteps, but they stop halfway as if they’re hesitating, and then they start again. Before the bathroom door shuts and the shower turns on. I exhale before I’m surprised at the sound of the bathroom door opening again, a dim light filtering into the room, and footsteps are on the floor again. They grow closer to me before he nudges my arm.
“Come on.” He rasps out, pushing against me a second time. Letting my eyes open, I look up at him, he nods his head, and he reaches over me. He hesitates, looking down at me, he says, “Don’t make me regret this. You fuck this up I will just let you sit here in your filth.”
“If you do that, then I’ll stink up your room.” I raise an eyebrow to him, and he shrugs.
“I have been in prison, Nightmare.” I tilt my head, trying to figure out if he’s saying prison is a nightmare or calling me a nightmare. “Now up.” I grasp his hand as he holds it out for me and walks me into the bathroom. He motions for the toilet and then walks back out, giving me at least a little bit of privacy.
I’m standing up as he walks back in with clothes in his hands. “Sky brought some clean clothes for you.” I look at him nodding my head. I feel proud of myself as I stand in front of him and perceive myself as completely sober. Reaching out, grabbing the clothes out of his hands, and sitting them on the counter. He stands with his back to the mirror, and I watch as he pulls his shirt up over his head. I quickly pull the bobby pin out of my hair and shove it between the two items of clothing. I watch as he tosses his shirt into the hamper, and as he turns around and looks at me looking back at him in the mirror. He holds my gaze as he steps into me, so close that I can feel the heat off of his skin. “Get a shower.” His voice is rough and demanding as he says it in my ear, which causes the hair on my neck to stand on ends. He lets his eyes linger on mine as his chest brushes against my back.
I can’t help but see how physically different we are. He has nearly a foot on me, I’m sure he could use my head as a chin rest. His tan skin that’s covered with tattoos makes my pale skin look even paler. His eyes drop from mine before his hand skims my arm as he walks past. I look at his chest as my body clears from concealing his and skim my eyes over the tattoos that nearly cover the entirety of his torso. As he reaches the door, the large solid blacked-out tattoo catches my attention. I have known since I first saw him that he had to have more, at least from seeing the one on his neck as well as the sleeves which travel entirely down his arms.
“Shower. Now!” He snaps again. I jump, stripping off my clothing, and stepping into the shower. The hot water pelts my skin, stinging… until it doesn’t. I’m sure it’s when the drugs actually start to kick in.
When the hand touches me, my body jolts forward, wondering how I didn’t hear him get into the shower.
My surroundings slow down as I turn around, looking up at him. He’s standing slightly behind me at a second shower head. He doesn’t look over at me, he moves his head into the water’s stream, and I watch the water rolling down over his body.
Fuck, I have daddy issues.
The thought makes me laugh. I mean once, sure… but it seems to be a running trend. I mean, it started out with— “It’s not nice to stare.” He mumbles through the water rolling over his face, cutting off my thoughts.
“I—I’m not.” Glancing over at me he smirks, shaking his head. “I was just thinking.” I say again before he raises his eyebrows, looking back over at me.
“What about?”
“Na—nothing.” I quickly turn around but hear him moving behind me until I can feel him leaning in and whispering into my ear.
“Sadie, what were you thinking.”
“Nothing.”
“Sadie.” He growls into my ear, standing so close behind me that I can feel his skin as if it’s burning against mine. “Turn around and look at me.” I swallow as I lower my eyes, so I don’t have to make eye contact with him. That is until his cock comes into my eye line, the light reflecting off of the barbell in the tip of it. Instantly, I bring my eyes up, looking at his chest, at the intricate tattoos. “Sadie.” His voice rumbles, with a hint of humor behind it.
“It’s embarrassing.” I mumble.
“More embarrassing than trying to fuck me so I wouldn’t notice that you’re high?” A slight chuckle comes out of him. If I wasn’t completely naked, and standing this close to him, I would need to press my thighs together to release the aching that’s starting. He leans in closer to me, my stream of water now running over both of our heads as he growl into my ear. “Or staring at my cock.” My head quickly pops up, looking at him, embarrassed, biting my lip and can see the humor in his eyes.
“I was thinking that I clearly have some daddy issues.” It falls out of my mouth before I can really stop it. The embarrassment at what I just admitted to him coursing through me.
