“I thought you were like in love with her for a while.”
“I was young, and I didn’t know what love was.”
“Then what was it?”
“Caroline saved my life, and I felt indebted to her for a very long time. I felt obligated to her. It took be a long time to realize that obligation is not the same as love; that I didn’t love her.” I pause, sighing. “I actually didn’t realize it until I saw her and Ash together.” I grimace, slightly.
“Do you now?”
“What?”
“Do you know what love feels like now?”
“No.” I let out a sad laugh. “But I think I’m learning.” I don’t mean to say the last part, but it falls out of my mouth, in a low whisper, before I can stop it.
She stares up at me for a moment in complete shock, I’m not sure if she is just shocked realizing that I’ve never loved anyone or if she understands what I meant by my statement. Hell, I’m not even sure if I know what I mean by my statement. She slowly smiles, confusing me more, before she finally says something. “I think it’s only fair that since you know something that no one else knows about me you should tell me a secret about you.”
“No way, Nightmare.” I laugh out loud. She pouts, still staring up at me, tugging at my sheer will. “Fine.” I roll my eyes as I watch her glee of excitement. “It won’t be like that.” She stares at me, still confused. “As a way to bury your emotions.” She’s still looking at me as I finish rinsing my body.
“What won’t?” she finally asks.
Stepping into her, I look down, the space between us becoming heavy. “It won’t be because you’re trying to stop feeling these emotions you’re refusing to deal with.” Reaching over, I place my hand onto her hip. “Because Sadie, when I fuck you, it’ll be because you want it badly. Not because you’re trying to forget anything else. And you sure as fuck won’t be able to think of anyone else.” Her big eyes continue to stare holes in me as she takes my words in and for a moment, I think I see a slight sadness in them. She starts to say something, but she stops herself.
Before I can stop myself, I step into her.
?
SADIE
He’s staring down at me as I try to guilt trip him over what he said. I want to tell him that it’s only part of the reason why I said it to him last night.
The other part is because I’m too damn conflicted about the feelings that are growing for him.
“It’s…” I start, but I can’t finish. He starts to turn to leave the shower, but I place my hand on his arm, stopping him. “Ro…” I can’t force the rest of the words that I want to say to him out. The water runs down his face and his eyes intensify.
He steps into me, pinning me into the wall, his hands coming up against the wall at my sides, caging me in. “Stop looking at me like that.”
“Why?”
“Because I told you, I’m not going to fuck you.”
“You sure about that?” I ask him again, a smirk spreading on my face.
“For now, I am.” He chuckles, leaning in even closer than he was before.
“It doesn’t seem like your cock got the memo.” I say as I can feel the tip touching my stomach.
“Close your eyes.” He tells me.
“Why?” I continue to look up at him.
“Do you trust me?”
“I’ve trusted you since the moment I met you.” His mouth falling in shock is the last thing I see before I close my eyes.
I can feel him leaning into me and his breath against my hair as he begins to whisper. “I never knew words could sound so good.” I’m not even sure he knows that he’s saying it as his lips quickly kiss my forehead, but I keep my eyes closed and pretend like I didn’t hear what he said. He pulls away from me and I can hear him moving for a moment.
My eyes shoot open as the stream of water connects with my clit and my entire body bucks. The wicked smirk that’s spread across his face as he locks eyes with me makes my stomach clench again. “Eyes. Closed.” He demands, only furthering the convulsions that my body is producing. “Now!” Closing my eyes tightly, I can feel him lean into me again as the pressure of the water makes my head foggy. I’m not sure if it’s the steam from the shower or his breath but both sets my senses on edge. “You want to not feel anything, you want to forget... Nightmare, I don’t need to fuck you to be able to make you forget. I can make you cum without touching you.” He growls into my ear. Reaching my hands around him and gripping onto his back, pulling him closer. He reaches down and grabs ahold of my thigh, lifting it up exposing more of my pussy and creating an easier access for the stream. I’m curious if he did it to give himself a better view of it as well. “Goddamn.” He groans out. “That’s right. I’m going to make you cum so hard you drip all over my cock.” His words send me over the edge. Digging my nails into his back as my orgasm takes ahold of me and my legs wobble from underneath.
