He laughs again. It’s a laugh that I’ve only ever seen him do with me. “How about this?” He turns, looking at me, and I’m intrigued. “From here on out. Neither one of us are?”
I can’t speak. I’m not even sure what I want him to say. It’s all the things I wanted him to say as I was standing in front of him, in his office, begging with him.
“I should have gone after you.” It’s a whisper as he leans into me.
“Why didn’t you?”
“Cause I’m an idiot.” He chuckles as the words leave his mouth. I guess he can see that I’m not exactly amused by his response. “Fine. I had convinced myself I was gonna get you hurt, but…”
“But?” I can’t help but be curious about what else he’s going to say.
“I realized when Eli came to me and told me about everything that you… that this,” he gestures between us, “scares the shit out of me.”
“Please.” I can’t help but laugh again. Standing up, trying to get away from the bullshit that he’s spewing. “You’re not afraid of anything.”
His hand is on my arm, tugging me back around to look at him. Forcing me forward to come to stand between his feet. “I’m serious.” His eyes are searching mine for something. “This scares me. You scare me. You always have. It’s why I didn’t go after you after you took off in the middle of the night. It’s why I left you in South Dakota. It’s why I took off after I felt like you could take care of yourself. It’s why I let you walk out of those fucking doors and didn’t go after you. It’s been a long time since I’ve allowed myself to be happy, psycho, that it scares the shit out of me now.”
“It scares me, too.”
“I know, but you let yourself feel things a long time ago.”
“I told you, I don’t have those.”
I can tell by the look on his face that he knows I’m full of shit, but he says nothing else.
“Okay.” He whispers, reaching up and cupping my chin between his thumb and indeed fingers, guiding me towards him until my lips meet his.
His kiss is soft, delicate, almost comical how much different it is than what he looks like he is on the outside… if you don’t know any better.
He starts to pull away, but I don’t let him just yet. I can’t let him. Something inside forces me to hold him to me. Keeping him close. I heighten the kiss as I quickly move myself, now straddling his lap. His groan creates a vibration in my mouth that tears through my body, causing a need for him to start low in my core.
Pulling away from me quickly, he growls as does so, looking at me, exhaling and shaking his head. “Woman…” he looks at me, leaning his forehead against mine. His breathing is heavy as he’s shaking his head, but I can feel his hardened cock pressing hard against me.
“You know.” I pause, just for some dramatics. I look up at his eyes perk up as I speak. “I’m pretty sure not all things are off the table.”
He doesn’t say anything, but his head tilts as I smirk, sliding off of him and kneeling between his knees. “Tatum…” His voice causes me to hesitate as my hand reaches for his zipper. “You don’t have to… I don’t want you to if…” he trails, almost as if he has conflicting feelings about it. Like he doesn’t want me to do it if I don’t want to, but he also doesn’t want to completely ruin it.
“Zane, shut up, and stop thinking.” It’s a demand, and his eyes widen, as a slight smirk shows, almost as if he didn’t know that being told what to do would turn him on as much as it did.
His teeth graze his bottom lip as he sighs in reaction to the sound of me pulling down his zipper. I lock eyes with him as I free him from his jeans and can feel him twitching in my hand, begging me.
“I’ll tell you if I get uncomfortable.”
He nods his head.
“This time, you’re not in control.”
“Have I ever really been?” He nods his head again. Not wanting to break whatever is happening by saying to much.
“You’ll sit back and enjoy me thanking you for everything you’ve done for me.”
He groans as his head leans backwards and my lips come down around the tip of him. Slipping him slowly into my mouth, I can feel him move underneath me.
It isn’t the way we fuck, it isn’t forceful or aggressive. Instead, I move him in and out of my mouth as I work the base of him with my hand.
“Goddamn.” Slips out of his mouth quietly, but I can’t help the smile that it brings to my face.
His hand coming up and resting on my head, wrapping his fingers into my hair, but he doesn’t use any force, his hand moves along with my movements.
