“You can’t do that…” I laugh as I look at her, shaking my head.
“Shit, you’re right. I’m sorry.” I just look at her, confused. “I didn’t really mean to. I still have a lot of hormones and as much as I can’t have sex… I really want to. But I also would probably cry in the middle. I’m so confused.”
“It’s okay.” I laugh as I lean in and plant one gentle kiss on her. “One more thing.” I whisper to her.
Her eyes come up, looking at me, and I soften to her.
“It’s okay for you to break now, if you want. I’ve got you.”
?
The desert is almost like I remember it, although it seems like they have started using it again. As I make my way into the bedroom that Zane and I spentthatday in when I first found out, I still see the ruffled sheets, almost exactly as we left them.
“I couldn’t change them.”
Quickly I turn around, looking up at him, surprised.
“I’ve stayed up here a few times since.” He admits, looking down and running his hand along the backside of his neck. “I could still smell you on them. It was…” he trails as if he doesn’t know how to finish what he’s thinking.
“Comforting?”
“Yeah.” He nods his head before stepping into me. “I was just biding my time, waiting for you to come home.”
“Please.” I can’t help but laugh. “Are you trying to convince me you were all alone, pining over me? You know, I know you better than that.” I tilt my head, looking at him again, walking over to the bed and sitting down.
“No, I never said all alone.” He grins at me, causing me to roll my eyes. “Regardless of where I was and who I was with, I was missing you, but when I was here, I was alone...”
“I was about to say.” My laugh cuts me off, causing me to pause before I talk again; he walks over to me and stands looking down at me, slight interest to his expression. “I know when you showed up at my appointment, you had just left some girl.”
My gut tells me a moment too late, whilst I’m finishing my sentence, that I should have taken his expression as a warning.
“Do you?” His lips tilt up as I continue to sit, now stunned and mortified that I just called myself out.
“Uh, I mean, well… I assumed.” I start, quickly looking away from him.
I watch as his foot pushes my feet apart, and he steps in between them.
My eyes bulge as I try to figure out what to say, quickly, to get myself out of this conundrum.
His fingers pinch my chin before they’re tilting my head up, forcing me to look at him. “Tatum…” The vibrato of his voice rattling my insides.
But I don’t start again. How am I supposed to explain how I knew?
I feel relieved he breaks out into a full smile and nods his head. “You know.” He stops, looking down and laughing as he lets my chin go, moving over to my side, and sitting down next to me. “I thought the tears were because he didn’t show up, but…” He nudges me with his shoulder.
I shake my head, biting onto my lip, and trying to force the betrayal-smile back. “No.” My lip slips from my teeth’s hold and I’m matching his expression as I turn and look at him. “He didn’t even know I had one that day. He never came.”
“You were sad because you knew?”
“I know it sounds stupid, and I shouldn’t have been because I mean, fuck, I’m still technically married, but I dunno. I can’t really explain it.”
“I understand.”
“How?”
“Because I’ve been the same way since I met you. You told me so yourself.”
“I didn’t really tell you so. I told you not to be a hypocrite.”
