I’m being ushered through the hallways for an arraignment, but everything happens in a blur. I’m pushed through the doors. It’s nothing I haven’t done before, but this time it feels different. Immediately my eyes fall down to where Tatum sits, between Ella and Blair with Liv and Liza on their sides, and I can’t help but breathe out a sigh, knowing that at least she has some sort of support. She smiles when she sees me, but I can see the pain underneath it all.
When I’m asked how do I plea, I know I say not guilty but I’m not sure if I even registered that the judge was talking to me or if Sherri had to hit my leg for me to respond.
Then I’m being marched out of the courtroom as the words flight risk ring around in my head.
I’m in my cell again, staring up at the ceiling, trying to rid my head of the way her eyes looked as I saw them. Wishing I could rid her of all the pain I am causing.
?
The desert is different without Zane here. It’s muted, even if the Liv and Liza are just in the other rooms. I’ve gotten to know them a little over the last few days.
Zeke walks into the room and looks at me. “You ready?”
I nod my head, pushing myself off of the bed and walking towards the door. I feel bad making everyone have to come out here to get me, but apparently it’s what Zane wants.
“I want to see him.” I tell Zeke as we make our way to the highway, heading back to Sonston’s End. He sighs as he looks over at me, his expression heavy with uncertainty.
“He won’t like that.”
“He’ll get over it.”
“I’m pretty sure I’m going to end up getting yelled at for this one.”
“He can deal with me then.”
“You know,” he pauses as he sighs, like he’s not really sure how to say it to me. “This is the reason he kept you at arm’s length.”
“Why? So I didn’t have to see him locked up?”
“No.” He says it harshly, looking over at me again, his eyes hard as he starts, and for the first time I can see the similarities between him and his brother. “I mean yes, but no. Because he didn’t want you to have to worry, to wait, have to put everything on hold. We watched our mom have to do it, and it was so fucking hard for her. We were young, and it only happened once, but… Well, I don’t know many people who could actually deal with that.”
I can’t help but scoff out as I shake my head. “He doesn’t have to worry about that.”
“Why’s that?”
“Cause I don’t need him. I don’t need someone to take care of me. I’m here cause I fucking want to be here, no, because I have to be.” I roll my eyes this time, groaning and turning back to look at Zeke. “And believe-fucking-me, he’s how I know we don’t get to choose who we... ugh...” I trail not really able to say the words, but Zeke lets me off when he just nods his head that he understands. “Because if it was up to me I would be in a relationship that was much fucking easier than him.”
Zeke laughs to himself this time, shaking his head as he looks back out to the road.
“What?”
“It’s…” He trails as if he’s not sure if he wants to say it or not. “I get it.”
“Get what?”
“Why you’re it for him.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” I don’t mean to sound as confrontational as I do.
“It’s just. We all have a type. Z, our dad, myself. We like women who give us hell.” He shrugs, laughing to himself. “Isn’t afraid to put us in our place.” He smirks again as he glances back over. “It’s a compliment. Few people can handle my brother.”
“Including yourself?” I joke with him.
He nods his head. “Sometimes. We may look almost identical, but we couldn’t be more different.”
“I wouldn’t say that.” I shrug my shoulders, catching his curious expression as I glance back over. “You’re both just doing your best, trying to protect the people you care about while being broken yourselves.”
“I don’t know about that. If I was trying to protect them, I wouldn’t have left after our parents.”
