“Yeah, you mean when I told you she was my girl?” When I say it, all I can imagine is her sad expression as she walked out of my office last year.
“Yeah… that. I’m still not exactly sure what you mean by that, but I also didn’t know who else to come to.”
“Spit it out. What’s it is.”
“She started seeing Darren.”
“Sherman?”
“Yeah.”
“Why?” I scoff out.
“Fuck if I know. You know her, right? She doesn’t really date. I’ve known her since she moved here. I mean, she had that one boyfriend that she lived with but since him, I dunno it was like she would see a guy for a month and then on to the next one. But Darren…” He trails.
I think about what he just told me. She hasn’t seriously dated since the first time we were together… I’m not really sure why I find that interesting or why I hadn’t realized that until just now.
“She started seeing Darren a couple of months ago. But she’s been with him for longer than anyone else.”
“Okay…” The thought hurts, and I wish it fucking didn’t. I wish I could shut down those feelings that fester just below the surface for her.
“Do you know Darren?”
“Of him.” I know ‘of’ the entire police force, though, just like they know ‘of’ me. “I mean, he was a part of the few that were tailing us for a while.” He nods his head, telling me I’m right.
“I’ve seen him date quite a few women over the years.”
“Okay?” I pause, looking at him almost territorial. “Why are you so protective of her all of a sudden?”
He sighs, rolling his eye. “Calm down. It’s not like that.” I just cross my arms over one another. “Fine. Look, you and I, we were friends back in the day, right?” I roll my eyes and he shakes his head. “Seriously? Shit, I mean, I know we ended up very different.”
“Fine, yeah we were.”
“That’s why. You told me she was your girl. And even if I nor any fucking one know what you mean by that. I get what that means for you to say because we’ve known each other most of our lives. But you’re way off track now.” He shakes his head again. “All of these women end up broken.”
“What?”
“When I saw them together, something started nagging me. But like that’s my job, right? Ask questions, connect dots, follow my gut. So I did. I went back and looked at all the girls I’ve known him to date… All of them end up as a shell of a person.”
“Shit.” I whisper.
“But it gets worse.”
“Fucking how?”
“Z, this is where you can’t kill the messenger.” I just glare at him. “They’re engaged.”
“What?” I’m really not sure if I say it in my head or out loud but, I move forward in my chair quickly sitting straight up and I just stare at him.
“Z, he can’t break her. Stop this.”
“What am I supposed to do?” I can’t help but laugh.
“She doesn’t want him.” I say something, but he cuts me off. “You know that. You may not want her to, but you know what she really wants, and you know what you want.”
“I can’t give her that.”
“Bullshit. Don’t sit there and try to tell me you don’t feel the same way she does. You slept in her fucking hospital room.” He shakes his head. “For days. And you don’t know this, but I stopped by her place to check on her after they discharged her from the hospital.” My eyes shift back and forth as I recall those days. I know what he’s talking about. “Yeah. You know how she has those enormous bay windows in the front of her house. It was hard to miss the two of you. As much as you don’t want to admit it anymore, but you and I were close at one time.”
