“I don’t think it’s just me that doesn’t want to admit it.” I’m upset over the situation with Tatum and now I’m taking it out on him. He’s steered clear of me over the years, just as I have him.
“That’s not my point. I have never seen you as happy as you were in the house with her. You may be able to walk around here and fool most of them, but you can’t look me in my eye and tell me otherwise. If you sit back and do nothing. You’re going to lose her. And from the way he leaves all the women he dates as empty shell’s you may lose her forever.”
“I’m pretty sure I’ve already lost her.” It comes out more defeated than I intended it to.
“You haven’t seen her since they got together, have you?”
“I’ve seen her. I’ve just kept my distance.” He just gives me a look that tells me he knows I’m full of shit. “And what if she still chooses him?” I fucking hate how pathetic I sound right now. Even more so when the door opens and I see Axe step inside.
“Then at least you tried, and when things go bad, which they will, she’ll know you’ll be there for her.” Axe finishes causing Elias to nod his head along with him.
“Great…” I mumble as I look up at the ceiling, now embarrassed that Axe just heard all of that.
“Z.” Elias says again as I glance back over at him. “I know you have this whole MC prez reputation thing you’re trying to uphold, but I miss my friend.”
“I’m not different.” I say, looking back away. “And we didn’t end up so different.” Looking back over at his curious face. “We’re both just trying to save the people we care about.” He nods his head before he walks out of the office. “Shit.” I glance over at Axe. “Can you unlock his shit for him?”
“You know he’s right… about her.”
“I know.” I groan out, giving him as much as I can at this current moment. Lacing my fingers behind my head, I lean back and stare up at the ceiling.
I can see the moments playing out. 12 years ago, I found Dad sitting in the garage, drinking, just staring at the bike. I was 15 and didn’t know what he was doing. It was the day he told me what the meaning behind the bike was. How he lived his life in a way so when he died he wouldn’t think that he didn’t spend his life living it. Only that seconds before he wrecked he realized that after he knew what it was like to be with Mom, he was chasing a high that he couldn’t replace with anything else. That, he realized in that moment, without her, nothing else could fulfill her.
I hear Axe walk back into the office, and I open my eyes again. As soon as I see the look on his face, I know what he’s going to say.
“Look, it’s fucking complicated.”
He chuckles to himself as he walks over and sits down in his chair. “The best ones always are.” He starts again. “Your dad told me that when I said the same thing about Ella.” Turning my head, I look at him, contemplating what he’s telling me and everything from that moment in the garage. “Granted.” Axe starts again. “That was before he knew it was Ella and beat the shit out of me, so he may have not felt the same way had he known.” It makes me laugh though. “Now my own piece of advice. My only regret in life is that I let her walk away, actually the day that Ash beat the shit out of me, I was so worried about my own ego that I lost years with them. Had I come up to Ash and the rest of the club before it came out and admitted to things? Who knows? It may have been completely different.”
“What, they wouldn’t have kicked your ass?”
“Oh know, they most likely still would have, but she wouldn’t have left.”
The plan somehow comes together in my head instantly. Jumping up and rushing out the door, to the front of the clubhouse, and hoping to catch Eli before he leaves the grounds.
I watch him at the gate, waiting for it to open, realizing that he still remembers the code for it… I should really change that.
He sees me as he’s closing his door and rolls down the passenger side window.
“You’re right, but I need your help.”
?
Looking down at my hand, I can’t even grasp what is happening or how this even happened. I swear, it feels like I was just waking up to seeing Zane asleep next to me. I shake my head, trying to rid my mind of him. It hurts too much…
But when I walked out of his office, I knew what he was telling me.
Sighing out, I shove my hand into the rubber glove. Grabbing a couple of supplies out of the trunk and walking in, just to gauge what I’m really going to need.
I’m hoping that since Elias set this all up, and since it’s just a cleaning job after a tenant moved out, it won’t be so bad.
I unlock the door and walk into the house. “The fuck?” I whisper out as I look around the house. It looks like it’s already been cleaned, like a thorough scrub. I would eat off of these floors.
But I’m thankful because I’m exhausted.
Everything hurts.
A floorboard creaks down the hallway. I’m getting ready to walk down and I stop.
