She nods her head. “Yeah, he gripped my arm hard. I told him he was hurting me.” She pauses, shaking her head. “And he laughed in my face. Told me I didn’t know what it felt like to hurt, but he could show me.” Her lips tremble again. “And he slammed me against the wall and wrapped his hands—” a sob interrupts her story and I reach up, gently pulling her down onto my lap.
“Shhh.” Running my fingers through her hair, stroking it gently, trying to calm her. “It’s okay, baby, I’ve always got you.” I whisper into her hair as I plant a kiss in it. Holding her against me. Never wanting to let her go.
I keep her in my arms, soothing her until she’s calm again. “He won’t ever lay another hand on you.” It pains me just to have to say it.
Pushing herself up from where she’s lying against me, still sitting on me, but I can see it in her eyes that she’s serious about what she’s about to say.
“You can’t do anything.” She says it matter-of-fact.
“Oh, I can.” I say back quicker than I should. “And I’m going to.” Slowly pushing the hair out of her eyes, forcing her to look at me so she knows that I’m serious. “I’m gonna fucking kill him.”
“Zane, you can’t. Promise me you won’t.”
I can read it in her eyes everything that she’s afraid of; I shake my head as I smirk. “He threatened to hurt me, didn’t he?”
“No.” She shakes her head now. “He didn’t threaten tohurtyou.” She stresses the word hurt.
“He threatened if I hurt him, he’d have me arrested.” It’s almost fucking comical.
“No.” She moves, standing up, and looking down at where I’m sitting. “If he knew I was here right now, he’d have you arrested. He would find something, plant something, shit whatever he could.”
“That’s fine. I can protect you. And he wants to have me arrested, then I can still protect you until I get out.”
“Zane.” My name is a whisper on her lips as her eyes fill with tears. “You want to protect everyone? But who protects you?” A tear slips down her cheek.
“Is this really what you want? You want him?” I hate how pathetic I sound.
“No. You know that. I told you I don’t want him.” She steps into me, placing a hand on my chest and shaking her head. “I want you to be safe, and I’ll do whatever that takes.”
“If you’re so worried about that, then why the fuck are you here right now?” it’s more aggressive than I mean for it to be, but my pain is refusing to remain dormant.
But it doesn’t even seem to faze her.
“I covered my tracks. I went to the store and snuck out the back. Blair met me there and brought me here.” Another tear slips out. “And even if he finds out, I can explain it. Tell him I was coming to end any hope that you have for the future. That if I didn’t do it that way, you would never know.” Her eyes lock with mine and I see the shame again, realizing that it’s not just about what happened, but the shame is also for the whole reason she came here. For this reason. Ending things for good right now. “Please don’t hate me.” Her voice cracking through her sob.
“Hey.” I whisper, tilting her head up by her chin, so she’s looking at me again. “I could never do that. What if you just left? Go somewhere else.”
She shakes her head again. “He clarified that if I leave for any reason…”
“He’s trapping you by your feelings for me?”
“I told you, I didn’t have those.” She tries to smirk, but her eyes give her away, filling with tears as soon as she looks at me. She nods her head, letting tears flow out now and I pull her into me one last time.
I’m strangling on my own emotions as I attempt to speak. “I’ll do whatever you want me to.”
“It’s what I have to do.” She sighs, looking up at me.
She should pull away, walk to the door and leave, her and I both know that, but she doesn’t, because it pains her more to leave.
“Goodbye Zane.” It’s a broken whisper as she looks up, her tears still trailing down her face against her will, as her eyes beg me.
I lean into her, giving her enough time to back away, or tell me no, but as soon as she closes her eyes and leans in to me, I press my lips to hers.
My heart thumps in my chest so hard I can hear it in my ears. And I know both of our hearts are breaking simultaneously.
We break our kiss, painfully slow, as if to cherish every millisecond. I reach over, brushing the tears off of her cheek, and she leans into my hand as I cup her cheek for a moment. She turns and just as I did to her earlier today; she walks towards the door and I can hear her sigh.
“Until you’re ready.”
