“Eli, I didn’t tell you.”
“And why didn’t you?”
“Because I didn’t see a point…” she trails off.
I’m trying to keep a small bit of composure. I want to console her, but I know I can’t get too close here. There’s a flock of MC members cruising the hallways.
I guess from the look on her face she thinks about that as well, nodding to the door at our side. I follow behind her so we can talk privately.
In the small closet, I get flashbacks of the last night I saw her. Waking up with her panties still underneath me, but she’s nowhere to be found.
“I didn’t know until after…” she lets out a sad laugh. “And I thought it’d be a little weird to leave you a voicemail like… ‘Hey, remember all those times we fucked? Turns out I got pregnant, but don’t worry, it took care of itself’.”
“I’m sorry.” I mean it; I really am. But what’s fucked up is that if I had known now what was happening in the moment, I’m not sure I would’ve made a different decision than the one I did.Hell, it probably would have been more of a reason.
“When?”
“What?” she looks at me confused.
“Was it the last time we…” I trail off, not really being able to think about it much.
“No.” she shakes her head. “Go figure, Liv found me running out of the house and showed up at my apartment. She gave me a Plan B just to make sure.”
“Did you tell me then?” I pause. “I don’t remember everything that happened?”
“No. At least I don’t think I did, but I think we were both pretty fucked up.”
“Why? Drew, why wouldn’t you tell me?” my voice cracks.
“Why didn’t you tell me...” she pauses, shaking her head. “I’d just taken a test when I got up to purgatory, then fell asleep, and by the time I’d woken up…” She trails off, but hearing about what happened stings. Something I never thought I wanted, and yet hearing how it was so close, with her, somehow feels like it changes something.
“That’s why you stopped?” I ask her.
“What?”
“When Collins called you, we were outside your apartment. We followed you out of the city. You stopped just before the city limits.”
“Why’d you follow me?”
“I had to know you got out safe.” I admit to her.
I watch the sadness forming in her eyes. Sad for what we were. Sad for what we could’ve been.
“Are you relieved?” I’m not even sure why I ask it, and I’m even more confused about the feelings I have about her responding with silence.
Nodding my head, I turn, wanting this conversation to be over. Not wanting to have it here in the first place. Pulling the door to the small closet open and storming through the hallway.
I’m out the door, almost to my car, when I hear her from just behind me. “Aren’t you?”
Stopping, I turn and look at her. “I don’t know.” It comes out as a sad mumble.
“How do you not know?” Confusion spreading across her face once again.
“Sketch,” exhaling again. “I don’t know. I just found out, and I’m processing.”
“I thought...” she trails off.
“That I didn’t want kids?”
