“No.” I cut back, looking away quickly.
“Sketch.”
“Eli.” I deadpan and just look up at him, emotionless. Or at least that’s the look I’m going for. On the inside, whatever’s left of me is dying. “I told you don’t ever call me that again.”
“It’s not what you think.”
“I. Don’t. Care.” I shrug, looking away, and smiling at the man sitting across from me as I walk up. He orders some hip beer that only people who think it’s cool order.
“There are things I didn’t tell you.”
“So you were lying to me.” I stare back now, not paying attention to the flowing beer tap, swearing when it spills over the top, runs down the glass, and over my hand.
“Yes, no, fuck. I couldn’t…”
“Well, lucky for you, I don’t care.” I can’t look at him; if I do, he’ll know I’m full of shit. Know that I’m lying. So, I make the most out of wiping down the glass and walking it back over.
“Just let me explain.”
“Goddamnit!”I shout, gaining the attention of the people surrounding us. We both know how dangerous this is; we’ll be lucky if we get a couple of days before this whole episode gets back to my brothers. “Eli, I’m going to say this to make myself perfectly fucking clear. You had all the time to explain. I told youeverything…”
“Did you?” He gives a snide chuckle before looking at me, tilting his head, knowing I’m full of shit.
“While we were together.” I whisper back to him.
“It’s not that simple.”
“Yeah, well, let’s just make it simple then...” I trail off before walking over to Low. I lean in. “I’m gonna take my break.” She nods before I leave, walking out the door that’s behind the bar.
Pulling my phone out, I have to force the emotions away, force the tears back. I just need him to leave. What does it fucking matter if I forgive him? He made it abundantly clear that he wants nothing to do with me.
“Drew!”he screams after me as I stand with my back turned to the door.
I was hoping he wouldn’t take it upon himself to just walk back here. I guess I was mistaken.
“What?” spinning around, I’m confused as I stare back at him. “What the fuck are you doing?” I ask him, staring at him, looking down to where he’s clutching his shirt in his hands.
Being in jail has made his torso more defined. My eyes trail across his chest and down his stomach, taking it all in, and I catch myself biting my bottom lip. I can’t look back up at him; if I do, I won’t be able to overlook the joy he’s getting out of me eyeing him.
“Turn off the overhead lights.”
“What?”
“Turn off the overhead lights.” He repeats, and I just look at him, confused. “Look, I know it doesn’t make any sense right now, but just do this. Then, if you don’t want to hear me out and still want me to leave, I will. If you want me to stay as far away as possible, I will. But please just turn off the damn lights and let me explain.”
“Fine.” I look at him confused, walking closer to him as I flip the switch in the back room off. All that’s left on are the black lights. I’m still not even sure why they’re all up here. Rolling my eyes as I look back up at him.
“Now what’s that supposed to —” I hesitate as I look back at him, or more so at the letters that are glowing on his chest, right above his heart. “How long have you had this?”
“10 years.”
“I’ve never seen it before.” I whisper.
“It’s UV ink…”
Stepping in, closer than I’ve been to him since we were in the hospital closet, I want to force myself to stop reaching up and touching it, but I can’t. I expect the skin to be scabbed, inflamed as if he’s just gotten it, and that he’s trying to lie to me. But I can tell by the faded lettering and what it is, just how long it’s been there.
“I don’t understand.” I gasp, looking up to meet his eyes as his hand comes up, covering mine over his heart.
