I shrug. “We haven’t really talked in a while.”
He slowly nods his head. “How did we all get so fucked up?” he questions, leaning his head back again the headrest. “I think I’ve just been really lonely for so long. It’s like everything fell apart after they died. Every time Zeke and I speak, we’re at each other’s throats. Drew’s around, but we’re so distant still. I see her occasionally, but… I told her the other day to stay in LA then realized half way to purgatory that she doesn’t live in LA and no fucking idea why I said it.” he trails off as if he’s not sure exactly what to say about that. Clearing his throat, he nods his head again. “I took this on willingly, not knowing how it was going to challenge everything.”
He looks right at me, and I nod my head. “I get that.” I mumble and I do. I understand what he’s getting at. Our decisions, the positions we’ve taken, have challenged and isolated us. “Z,” I pause as he glances back at me. “Just remember things are rarely as they seem.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Let’s just leave it at: there’s a reason I’m terrible at my job.”
“Why? Just give me a reason to believe you’re not full of shit.”
“Just leave it as I’m not actually here to be a cop.”
“Then —”
I know what he’s about to ask, so I cut him off. “Z, you’re drunk. This isn’t the time to have this conversation. Especially since you won’t remember this in the morning.” And if I’m being honest, it’s not time to have this conversation.
Slowly, he nods his head.
“You care about losing the baby ‘cause you grew up knowing that blood isn’t what makes you family.” Even in his drunken stupor, he knows what I’m telling him. We both know he already looked at the baby as his own. “Loyalty makes it. I know you don’t think I’m family anymore, but you’d probably be surprised.”
The question is: Will he remember this conversation in the morning? Doubtful.
Clearing his throat, he tilts his head and laughs. “So, same girl as before?”
I can’t help but laugh as I nod my head.
“How’s it going?”
I let out an awkward laugh as I just shake my head, twisting and biting on my tongue. “Even more complicated.”
“How can it still be complicated? I’ve even known about it for months.”
I guess this would be a good trial run. “It wasn’t supposed to beanything. It was supposed to be a onetime thing. Because we can’t really be together.”
“Why?” he lets out a sarcastic laugh. “She married your rival?”
I let his comment go by the wayside because, just as he’s said before normally, when we’re both sober, we’re rivals, so he’s not that far off from the truth.
“No, but her family wouldn’t approve of it.”
He laughs loudly as he looks back over. “What are they closer to my side of the law?”
“Something like that.”
The irony.
“You know that’s playing with death, right?”
“Trust me, I’ve told her that. I tried to stay away, but…” I trail off for a moment, thinking of her. “Honestly, if I’m murdered over it, it’ll be worth it.”
“Damn, you’re a sappy fuck.”
I laugh out loud as I nod my head. “She brings it out of me.”
“You know, I’m not gonna remember shit in the morning, right?”
“I’m kind of counting on it.”
