“Text and ask her.”
I sigh, pulling my phone out. I send the message to see if Farrah’s eaten or has plans, and she responds with a no. Shit, now I’ll definitely have to bring dinner over. “Looks like we’re packing up and going to Miss Nelson’s house.”
“Yay!” Finn cheers. He grabs the travel case for the casserole dish. “Dad, grab out the cookie dough too. I bet she’d like to have dessert.”
This kid and his big heart. It’s very rare that I get annoyed by his need to make everyone happy. Right now though, I’m wishing he were just a little less generous.
We get the truck loaded with our dinner and the supplies to catch the critter, then we set off for Farrah’s house.
It only takes us a few minutes to go down the road. When we pull into her driveway, Finn gasps. “Her house is pink, Dad! Isn’t that amazing?”
“It’s something, all right,” I grumble.
He’s already got his seat unbuckled when I get parked and is racing toward her front door. I follow behind him a little slower, partially because I’m carrying all of our shit and partially because I’m dreading spending any extra time withFarrah. Seeing her all over town recently has been like getting punched repeatedly in the gut.
“Miss Nelson! We brought you dinner.” Finn bounces when Farrah opens her door.
Her eyebrows lift as a wide smile pulls at her cheeks. “That was awfully nice of you. Come on in.”
I follow Finn inside her house, marveling at how different it looks since I was last here. The hallway has pink floral wallpaper that makes eyes water a little. It somehow matches everything else in the house though, so I have to give her a little credit there.
There are still a couple of rooms that need to be finished on the main level, but as we head back to her kitchen, I can see the direction she’s taken the house. It’s whimsical and fun, everything Farrah has always projected to the world. It makes me second-guess my disbelief in her constant state of happiness.
Who would choose to make their house this headache-inducing if they didn’t truly want to feel this way every day?
“Dad, you should go set the trap for the critter. Miss Nelson and I can get everything ready for dinner.”
I smirk at my son. “You got it, boss.”
“Seems like we have our marching orders.” Farrah chuckles. She holds her hand out for the covered dish. “I can take that. The attic door is upstairs.”
I watch Finn disappear into the kitchen, talking a mile a minute about his day. Knowing I’ve got a job to do, I head back out to my truck to grab the trap and bait. It only takes me a few minutes to get everything set up in Farrah’s attic. Something has definitely made this place its home. Hopefully, there isn’t a hole somewhere in her new roof. I wouldn’t want the little guy to come back over and over again.
I head back downstairs and stop short in the doorway. Finn is sitting on Farrah’s butcher block counter, laughing sohard his face has turned red. Farrah is smiling at him with such genuine emotion that it takes my breath away.
She catches me staring, and her smile dims. I hadn’t ever noticed how profound the difference is between her genuine emotion and the emotions she shows me. I’ve picked at her time and again because I wanted to see something real, not whatever fake shit she’d been putting on for everyone else. It never occurred to me that maybe the fake was just a dimmer version of her true feelings.
“Daddy! Farrah says I don’t have to call her Miss Nelson anymore since she’s not my teacher. She was just telling me about how the critter upstairs scared her so bad she almost fell down the stairs. It was so funny.”
I smile at my son, soaking in his contagious laughter. “I bet it was. Are you washed up and ready to eat?”
He nods, holding his hands out for me to help him down. Farrah finishes setting the table, and the three of us sit down together.
Finn remains the sole focus of our attention throughout dinner, but I find myself eyeing Farrah more often than not. The reminder of Finn’s mom tonight might have put a few things into perspective for me.
After being duped by Leona for years, it’s easy to see how I might have put those same emotions onto Farrah. Trauma recognizes trauma, and I knew the happiness she was showing everyone around her was just a mask. That half smile never truly reached her eyes, but I was too blinded by my issues to think maybe it’s a mask because what’s underneath is deeper than an acquaintance deserves to see.
What would it be like to experience the full wattage of her happiness?
CHAPTER 20
Farrah
Closing my eyes, I lift my face toward the sunshine. The warm rays soak into my skin while I take deep breaths.
A nightmare jolted me awake this morning, and I knew it was going to be a hard day. All I wanted to do was hide under my covers, so instead of allowing myself to wallow in the darkness, I got up and found a spot to watch the sunrise.
I found a little pond on Knox’s property that had the perfect spot to sit. He’d probably be pissed at me for trespassing, but I don’t imagine he’ll ever find out unless I tell him.
