“Chanel?!” Janessa’s voice cut through everything.
Distant.
Panicked.
“Chanel, what the hell is going on? Talk to me.”
I couldn't answer Janessa. Another wave hit.
Harder.
I screamed.
I couldn’t help it.
It ripped out of me.
“Chanel!” she shouted.
“Leave me the fuck alone!” I sobbed.
I stood up and squatted to help with positioning. My body shook violently.
But she didn’t leave.
I heard Janessa calling 911.
“No!” I grabbed her arm weakly. “Don’t call anybody, please…please don’t call my parents?—”
Her face shifted with confusion and fear.
“Why can’t your parents help you? Chanel, what the fuck?”
Another wave tore through me. Stronger than any sensation I ever felt before.
I screamed loud and raw. And then something inside me dropped.
A feeling I can’t explain, but I knew Xander was gone.
I went numb. I could hear Janessa mumbling something about a fetus being on our floor.
Her pre-med training was kicking in. I felt a cold compress on my head, but I couldn’t feel anything after that. I lost consciousness.
I remember being put on a gurney and Janessa telling them she was my sister and I was of legal age to consent for myself.
I recall the ambulance weaving in and out of cars as Janessa held my hand and brushed her hand over my hair. She was talking to me, but I couldn’t make out the words she was saying. Because there was nothing left in me to say.
At the hospital, everything blurred.
Voices.
Lights.
Hands.
Questions I couldn’t answer. They laid me back. Put the machine on me again.
That same machine that had once given me hope.
