Have we entered an alternative reality where my mom is a robot, and someone flipped her switch from bitchy to nice? Because I’m not sure how else to explain what I’m witnessing.
I don’t say a word as Jake vaguely answers her questions, refusing to give her any concrete details but assuring her thathe has long-term plans for us, and children are definitely in our future. At some point, she even mentions it’s totally fine for us to share a room because we’ll be getting married soon.
Once the two of us are alone in my childhood bedroom, I unleash the wide-ranging emotions building inside me.
“What the fuck was that?” I ask, pacing back and forth in my bedroom that hasn’t been touched since I moved out in high school. The shelves are still littered with academic awards, the bulletin board has photos from high school tacked on it, and the bright pink comforter that’s at least twenty years old still adorns my bed.
Jake laughs, plopping on my bed and patting the spot next to him. “No idea, but at least she’s going to back off for the time being.”
I shake my head in disbelief because I can’t logically explain her behavior. “Sure, if you don’t mind being pestered every twenty minutes about when you’re going to propose, or hearing her talk about how many of my eggs are dying each day, so we should hurry up with our baby making.”
Jake chuckles and puts his arm around my shoulder, pulling me in closer to him. “She’s excited…I think. Honestly, I’m really not sure what goes on in that woman’s head.” He adjusts his position to look at me as confusion grows across his face. “When did she say anything about baby making?”
“When you went to the bathroom. She thought it was important to let me know that at my age, approximately one thousand eggs die every month, so I can’t wait forever to make her a grandmother.”
His mouth drops open.
“Yep. Welcome to my life. Are you sure you want to sign up for a lifetime of it?” I ask, letting out a big sigh. I can only imagine how much pestering she’s going to do about grandchildren after we’re married.
He cups my face, gazing into my eyes. “Absolutely. I cannot wait to spend the rest of my life with you.” He presses a quick kiss on my lips. “Now, we should probably start practicing for our eventual baby making.”
I let out a laugh and fall backward on the bed. It doesn’t take long until he’s making good on his earlier promise to fuck me in my childhood bedroom.
CHAPTER FIFTY-ONE
jake
The crisp Novemberair hits my face as Kate and I walk hand-in-hand toward my mom’s grave. It’s the first time either one of us has been back to the cemetery, and I’m not sure how I’ll feel when I see her name on the headstone. Although I know her grave only holds the leftover physical remains of her, it feels like the one place I have left to connect with her—to talk to her. And there’s so much I want to tell her.
Kate squeezes my hand as we stop in front of my mom’s grave, both of us taking a moment to come to terms with what we’re seeing and feeling.
Seeing her name alongside my dad’s on the headstone hits me square in the chest, making it almost impossible to breathe. It’s not like any of this is a surprise, but there is something about the formality of seeing their names etched in stone that impacts you differently.
“Hey, Mom,” I say softly as my eyes quickly brim with tears. “It’s me. I’m here with Kate.”
“Hi, Judy,” Kate adds, wiping away a tear.
“You’re not going to believe what’s happened between us. Or maybe you will.” I shake my head, pausing for a brief secondbefore continuing, “After you died, we spent a lot of time together. Became friends again, just like you wanted. Kate even yelled at me for ghosting her all those years ago. You would’ve been so proud to see her stand up for herself. I know I was.”
“I really let him have it, Judy. Totally yelled at him and everything.”
I chuckle, thinking back to the night at the lake when Kate finally unleashed all of her hurt and anger because of what I did. It was the step we both needed in repairing our friendship and finding our way to each other.
“That’s the night I fell in love with her, or at least realized I was in love with her. It’s also the first time I kissed her.”
“Are you sure your mom wants all of those kinds of details?” Kate asks, worried I’m going to confess all the sordid details about our sex life in the middle of a cemetery.
I shrug because who knows what questions my mom would have if she were alive.
“Anyway, Kate and I are madly in love and planning to spend the rest of our lives together. I think you would’ve liked that. Not everyone’s been supportive of us, but I know you would’ve been.”
“I think so, too.” Tears stream down Kate’s face. “We really miss you, Judy. Wish you could be here with us. My mom used all your recipes for Thanksgiving yesterday, but it wasn’t the same. Not without you.”
“Deborah’s turkey was way drier than yours ever was, Mom.”
Kate laughs, covering her mouth with her hand, almost like she doesn’t want anyone to hear happiness in the middle of such a sad place.
Kate and I stand in front of her grave as I tell her every detail about how we fell in love. The dates I planned, the trips we took together, and the struggles we’ve had. I share about my upcoming new album, how it’s a testament to my love for Kate,and how much I wish she could hear it because she’s always said I best express my feelings in a song.
