I loved being a nurse, seeing patients, helping people, but managing people in a medical setting? It’s been awful. And now I can leave with what appears to be no hard feelings. And some unemployment benefits, even if they’re short-term.
I’m employable. Hell, I could go back to my old job at the hospital.
The timing isn’t great but this might be the kick in the ass I needed.
“I don’t like to fail,” I admit after a moment.
She smiles and this time it’s genuine. “Most of us don’t. But this isn’t failure, per se. It’s okay to discover things about yourself, to grow and learn. What you like, what you don’t like. You loved being an E.R. nurse, if I recall, but the stress was getting to you. It seems as if you don’t love being an office manager. So maybe something in between.”
“In between?”
She shrugs. “Travel nurse. Being a nurse part-time somewhere. I don’t know what will fulfill you at this stage of your life, but I do know it’s not here, at this job. And I need someone to be fully present.”
“I’m sorry.” The apology is quiet but sincere.
Because I am.
Because I don’t like to fail at anything.
Because I genuinely believed this would be the change I needed.
“Maybe this is your time to fall in love. Start a family.” Her voice is gentle. “It’s okay to want those things.”
“I feel like I already did that. With my nephew. His father passed away and my sister needed me. I spent a lot of time focused on River.”
“And now it’s time to focus on yourself.” She puts her glasses back on. “Take the rest of today. Think about what you want. Let me know your decision. It doesn’t have to be a big formal thing. If you want me to fire you, so you can get those unemployment benefits, just let me know verbally and I’ll take care of it.”
With that, she goes back to whatever she was doing on her computer.
I’m dismissed.
“Um, thanks,” I whisper as I get up.
Then I practically run down the hall back to my office.
The first thing I do is call Ross.
“Hey, beautiful.”
I blurt out the whole story without even asking if he has time to talk.
“Wow,” he says when I finally take a breath. “That was intense. But it doesn’t sound like a bad thing. You could be here with us by Thursday. Take a day to do the unemployment stuff and then take off. You can apply to jobs remotely, or whatever you have to do to keep getting those checks for a while. And we have until the end of the month to figure out health insurance.”
“Why do you make it sound so easy?” I ask in confusion.
He chuckles. “Because it is. Tell her you want her to fire you. Clean out your desk. Go home and start packing.”
My heart stutters in my chest.
I want to.
I want to work but I want to be with him more.
I can always find a job but getting to be with Ross at this early stage of our relationship—that’s not an opportunity I’ll get again.
“Okay,” I say softly.
“Okay?” He almost sounds surprised. “Yeah?”
