He shifts on his feet and looks at the ground, clearly uncomfortable with my question. “I was raised by one cruelparent and one passive parent. My mother is your Unseelie of legends. And my father? Well, he was kind, but he let my mother take the lead on everything.” He hesitates, as if he’s weighing his next words. “Including my upbringing.”
I study him for a moment, trying to get a read of what that ‘upbringing’ would have entailed with a mother like his. But the more I think about it, the more I very much don’t want to picture it as I’m sure it’s not anything like the one I had.
He leans up against the wall, using it to give him strength to carry on. “But still, both of my parents have done nothing but speak negatively about the Seelie. Growing up around that, after having a brief interaction with them as a child, I didn’t understand their hatred. I think that the two courts should be able to live in peaceful harmony.” He pauses, waiting to see if I would weigh in with my thoughts on his opinion. I don’t, instead offering him an encouraging nod to continue. “We’re opposites of each other, that’s true, but I believe that’s just the natural balance of things. There’s no darkness without light, no light without darkness.” His words pick up speed as he gets carried away with expressing something that I’m almost certain he’s rarely expressed, if he has at all. “The sun doesn’t exist without the moon. We’re two sides of the same coin. And in some cases, the humans are becoming pawns in the twisted games of the courts.” At this point, he looks up from the floor and meets my gaze. “You didn’t ask to fall through the realms, so why should you be punished for that? Why should you be held responsible for what was purely an accident of being in the wrong place at the wrong time.”
“You’ve clearly thought a lot about this.”
He looks away, letting out a rough laugh. “Well, I’ve had a lot of time and opportunities over the years.” He rubs a hand across his chin.
“I’m sure working around the courts gives you more to think about as well. Seeing the Queen and King in action.”
He meets my gaze, expression shuttering. “You have no idea.” He holds my gaze a moment longer before he looks away, shaking his head. “I should get ready and head out.” He retrieves some clothes from the dresser before heading into the bathing room and closing the door behind him.
I can hear a soft hiss as he turns on the water for the shower. My cheeks heat as I think of what is happening on the other side of the door.
Nope, no, certainly not. Olivia, you are not about to sit here and listen to this male bathe.
I jump from the bed and slip my leggings on under Bastian’s oversized shirt. I head into the kitchen and rummage through the cabinets looking for something and nothing all at once. I needed to get out of the bedroom and away from thinking of his muscular body completely bare under the warm stream of water from the shower.
My mind starts to wander to thinking about the shower itself. How it works. The spray of the water. The way it would trickle down over his hard lines and ridges. The way his hands would trailing over his body to lather the soapy water–
No, no, no, this isn’t working.
I slam the cabinet shut and pull at my hair, squeezing my eyes shut but that doesn’t do any better because now all I can see behind my eyelids is what I imagine that body looks like.
Why, why, why am I like this?He’s a Fae. An Unseelie Fae. He may be kind to humans, but no.You can’t fantasize about him. You’re not allowed. This is wrong. So very wrong. And you’ll be gone in two days anyway. Once you’re home you can fantasize about him all you want but not while you’re stuck with him.
I let out an aggravated growl as I hear the water shut off from the bathing room. I don’t want him to find me standing around the kitchen looking absolutely insane, so I head back into the bedroom and collapse back onto the bed, staring at the ceiling, contemplating how in the world I’ve found myself in this situation of fantasizing about this man.Male, not man. Is this all because we woke up tangled together? Yes, it must be that. The heat and proximity of his body must have ignited a dormant desire. That’s all it is. Ithasbeen a while since I’ve had a hook up of my own. That must be what it is. This craving I have to be back in the warmth of his arms. It’s because he’s the only male I’ve been this close to that’s not Tom.
When Bastian emerges from the bathing room, he’s dressed in a finely tailored pair of trousers and a tunic, both black—big surprise there—with an iridescent silver thread trimming the garments. His dark hair is slicked back out of his face, still damp and curling behind his pointed ears. He looks more polished and put together than he has the last couple of days. The only thought bouncing around my head now is that this male cleans up very,verywell. And it’s not helping with the way my thoughts are running rampant.
When he catches my perusal, his solemn face switches into the signature smirk he continues to throw my way, amusement twinkling in his eyes. “Like what you see?”
I choke on an inhale.Oh, good. So, we’re going with the teasing route of skirting around the position we woke up in. Great.“I— well— you look… different all done up like this is all. I never would’ve imagined you could have a polished version. I thought rough and rugged was all you were capable of.”
“I see.” He nods slowly, but I catch the small grin playing on his lips. “Well, I hate to leave you like this…” He trails off. His eyes rake over me as I pull the bedcovers over myself. He shakes off whatever thoughts his mind wandered off to. “But I reallyshould be off. Mustn’t keep mother waiting.” His grin slips away behind a mask of indifference.
“Right, yes, definitely shouldn’t keep her waiting on you. I assume she’s not type to take kindly to that?”
“You’ve got that right,” he says with a huff. He walks over to where I’m sitting on the edge of the bed and tucks his finger under chin, lifting my face to meet his gaze and holding it there. “You’ll wait here until I return, right Liv?”
“As much as I would prefer to not, yes I’ll wait here,” I say with a sigh. His eyes narrow as he searches my own, looking for the lie in my words.
Satisfied with my response, he offers a curt nod. “I appreciate you not fighting me on this, Liv. I won’t be long.” He begins to lean his face in towards me and my eyes go wide. What is he doing? He stops short, catching himself and I swear his eyes also widen a fraction before he shakes his head like shaking off the thoughts that almost led him to doing…what? He abruptly drops my chin and moves stiffly across the room to leave. “Um, right. I’ll, uh, see you later. Goodbye, Liv.” Even his words come out disjointed and choppy.
“Goodbye, Bastian. See you later,” I reply. He nods again in response and then quickly flees from the room and out the front door of the cottage.
What the actual fuck was that? I’m entirely confused. Was he about to… kiss me? Because that’s almost what it felt like. Butwhy? Maybe he doesn’t even know. The way his crystal blue eyes widened almost comically, he seemed startled by whatever it was that came over him.
Unfortunately, the only thought that follows me through the rest of the morning is how I wish that he had.
