It would be so easy to turn my head and find his lips. To kiss him like the night on my couch before I broke things off. I don’t allow myself to think about that night often, and not just because of how it ended, but because of how it began. How incredible our date was, and what it was like to fool around and snuggle on the couch after. All the things I know we’ve missed out on because of my priorities.
And where has that truly gotten us? He still infiltrated my life. Made himself a permanent fixture within it. He’s making hisown memories with Gran, and I’m bearing witness to them and the friendship that’s bloomed between them. Wouldn’t it be nice if the man I choose to have in my life knows and loves Gran before she’s not here anymore? As painful as that is to think about, one day it’ll be my reality, no matter how many times I wish it weren’t. One day, she will leave me, and I’ll be just as broken as I was when Grandpa passed.
But maybe the pieces wouldn’t be so hard to pick up if there were someone there to help me. Someone who loves Gran as fiercely as they love me. Who makes me feel safe and protected. Like no harm will ever come my way as long as they’re around.
Someone who pays for his own damn date just so he doesn’t need to take anyone else out.
A date that is potentially our third. But could also be considered our first. For a second time.
We sit close to each other as the boat speeds up, heading further from the harbor and into open water. Eventually, I loop my other arm over his shoulder, and he takes my hands in his to warm them while I soak in his body heat. Between my jacket, the helm cutting the wind, and Wyatt’s body acting like my own personal furnace, I’m toasty warm as we watch the ocean for whales.
It’s not long before the captain is slowing us down, turning to the right. Everyone on the boat seems to liven up when he does it, heads on a swivel, trying to figure out what’s going on and why we’re stopping.
“Everyone watch to the right,” the captain calls out. “Pay attention to all the foam and bubbles on the water.”
Not ten seconds later, a deep, dark gray lump breaks the smooth surface about a hundred and fifty yards out, and everyone on the boat gasps at the spout of moisture that flies high into the air. A humpback whale, the long sheen of its back surfacing, itsfin breaking through before disappearing beneath the dark, inky water.
“Holy shit.” Wyatt sounds awestruck, and I pull back from him, getting to my feet. He does the same, and with the boat now in neutral we go to the railing. “That was a freaking whale. B, that was a whale!”
I’ve never seen his green eyes as wide as they are as he turns them on me, dancing with a joy that lights a flame within my soul. Warmth that doesn’t have to do with temperature spreads through me, starting in my heart, pouring down into my stomach and rising into my mind. It fills every inch of me to see him like this, and when he glances back to the water, and everyone around us gasps again, I don’t tear my gaze away from him.
Whales will come and go, a tour can be taken any time, but the experience of watching Wyatt see them for the first time will only happen once in our lifetime.
“It just came up again, holy shit, this is crazy,” Wyatt gushes.
The captain, listening, corrects him, “Think that was actually a calf.”
Wyatt whips towards the captain, saucers for eyes, magic exploding from them. “Calf? They have freaking calves?”
“Where he’s from, calves come with four legs and moo,” I explain to the captain, and we all laugh.
Wyatt turns back to the water, but not before clutching my hand, waiting for the next surfacing. He doesn’t need to wait long before they both come up, blowing and refilling their lungs, and then they’re gone again. The look on his face never changes. He looks so young. So boyish. Filled with a joy that I imagine was rampant in his youth with all his brothers, before his dad became what he is today. Maybe he looked like this when he saw the first calf on the ranch. Or the first time he got to hold a fire hose.
I commit every second to memory because I never want to forget these moments. In my heart, I know I’ll pull this day out any time I’m sad or upset, for the rest of my life. It’ll keep me warm on nights when I’m lonely, days that are cold, and moments filled with heartache. The joy he’s feeding my soul right now will survive within me for years to come. There’s nothing I’ve ever felt more certain of.
With every breath the whales take, Wyatt tenses with excitement, eyes glued to the water until finally he takes a quick peek at me, only to do a double take. He whirls fully in my direction, grabbing my face in both his hands, concern overwriting his joy.
“B, what’s wrong?”
Shaking my head vehemently, I grab hold of his wrists. “Nothing. You need to watch the water.”
The frown deepens. “Why are you crying?”
My head jerks a little, and I blink, surprised. Crying? I’m not crying. But when he swipes a thumb across my cheek, then shows me the moisture on the pad, I burst into laughter. Tears of joy, and I hadn’t even realized they were leaking down my face.
“You make me really happy,” I tell him honestly, without hesitation or shyness.
It’s Wyatt’s turn to blink, wholly not expecting my answer. “B…”
“I don’t want to be just friends,” I whisper, and this time I feel the prick behind my eyes. “I don’t think I ever wanted it to be just that, but I didn’t think I could have it all.”
“You can have it all, plus. I’d give you anything,” he says as quietly as me, just so we can hear each other over the light breeze and other patrons’ chatter. “You already have all of me. You have since that first night, B. I knew then that you were it.”
“The night we danced?” A laugh full of disbelief leaves mylips, but his thumb touches them a second later.
“Yes,” he nods, and the truth is written in his eyes. “Sometimes you just know, and I knew. The way you looked at me every time I spun you around, saying again, again. You were so damn happy, and I never wanted that feeling to end.”
A sound bubbles up my throat, fresh tears burning my eyes, knowing that feeling. Experiencing that feeling with him and the whales. He wipes my cheeks again, but that doesn’t stop my vision becoming blurry and turning him to a watery mass in front of me.
