“Anything you expect of us?” Michelle asked.
I shrugged. “Just… take care of me?” I felt stupid asking it, but they were being open and honest with me about what they expected, so I wanted to make sure I did the same. “And somedays, I might be a little… difficult, especially if I haven’t had enough sleep. Don’t give up on me.”
“Never,” Michelle and Kip vowed at the same time.
“A little difficulty won’t make us run, bub,” Michelle assured me. “We’ll talk about your feelings, work through them, come to a solution if there is one, and then go from there.”
“Last thing,” Kip said. “We use the traffic signals for safewords. We will check in with you frequently while playing. Green means everything is great. We’re still good to go. Yellow means you need a breather and maybe, we need to talk about what we’re doing before we go any further. Red means all play immediately stops, aftercare begins, and we talk about what might have triggered you.”
“We will also use them,” Michelle added. “They’re there to keep us all safe. And you can safeword atanymoment, not just during playtime.”
“I like that. Traffic signals.” I cuddled into Mercy just as a knock sounded on the front door. “Oooh, is that food?” I asked, perking up.
Kip chuckled and stood. “Most likely,chibi. Get to the kitchen. I’ll bring the food in. Once you’re done eating, you need to call Hudson. He called me early this morning.”
I groaned and dropped my head back against the couch. Mercy huffed and pressed her big head against my chin.
“He’s going to be so pissed,” I grumbled before I pushed up from the couch. I was starving after our talk.
“Wash your hands,” Michelle ordered. “And don’t worry too much about Hudson. He knows you’re safe with us, and that’s tiding him over for now.”
“Yes, Mommy.” I patted Mercy’s big head one more time before heading to the bathroom to wash up, so I could finally eat breakfast.
Chapter Fifteen
Corvus
“What thefuck?” Hudson snarled as soon as he picked up the phone. I winced. How he knew it was me calling from Kip’s phone, I had no idea, but Hudson had a sixth sense for weird shit like that. “Do you know how fucking worried I was when I went to see if you wanted to do a late-night snack run with me and you weremissing? You didn’t even take your fucking phone, Corvus!” he shouted at the end.
Hudson was usually chill, only hitting people with snarky comments that were meant to cut deep. Hearing him yell at me was a sure sign I’d fucked up.
“I’m sorry,” I muttered. Sighing, I leaned forward and braced my elbows on my knees, scrubbing my free hand over my face. “I wasn’t in a good headspace last night.”
“Fuckingclearly,” Hudson snapped.
I huffed.
“What thefuckis going on, Corvus? Kreed keeps telling me to give you space, but space isn’t what you need, obviously. You’vebeen fucking weird formonths, and I’mdonebiting my damn tongue and waiting for you to open up.”
“It’s nothing,” I lied. “Really. Last night was just a weird night?—”
“Oh, don’t bullshit me, right now,” Hudson warned me, his voice dropping an octave. “We’ve been friends fordecades, Corvus. You can’t lie to me—not even through a fucking phone call. We’re not beating around this any longer. We’re talking about it, and then, we’re coming to a solution as afamily.”
I couldn’t tell him about my flashbacks. He’d feel like shit for his shit touching me. Hudson didn’t like talking about his deep feelings, but Iknewhow he was. He wouldn’t stop pushing me. Because he was right; we’d been friends for two decades now, and we knew each other well. Hudsonhatedthat his shit with his mom touched me and Kreed.
And then my parents… Hudson could truly beunhinged. If he found out what I allowed them to do to me, I worried he’d hate meandconfront them about it. Hudson was overprotective of me, but I also couldn’t stomach the thought of him turning his back on me forallowingmyself to be violated. What would he think of me then? Especially knowing I went back time and time again?
Hudson wasstrong. He’d forced distance between him and his sexual abuser when it’d happened to him. I was weak because I just kept going back for the promise of a few months of peace.
I laughed a little, hoping it didn’t sound as forced as it truly was. “Hudson, bro, I think you’re overreacting a bit.”
And that was thewrongthing to say.
“I’mover-fucking-reacting,bro?” he spat. His laugh sent a shiver of trepidation down my spine. “Cool. Let me show you what it’sreallylike when Ioverreact.”
The line went dead, and I sighed, dropping my head forward and letting it hang as Kip’s phone dangled from my fingers. Awarm, large, calloused hand wrapped around the back of my neck, and the couch dipped beside me.
“I take it that didn’t go well,” Kip mused as he gently pulled me into his side and wrapped his arms around me.
