They’re probably right. I won’t be able to hold out forever.
But I don’t have to hold out forever. Just long enough for Sutton to come back or long enough to know he never will. And I can wait more than one month.
But I suppose, if I need to spend my time with Zayd until then, I don’t have to spend it with a stranger. I already trust Zayd; getting to know him should be easy.
My stomach rumbles.
No better place to start than with dinner.
Chapter 17
Zayd
“Whatisthis?”Iask, a smile stretching my cheeks when I walk into Layla’s room to find her setting a dish of roasted vegetables on the dining room table set for two.
“What does it look like?” Layla places a steak on each plate, then dishes out a serving of the roasted vegetables next to them. Gesturing to the other chair as she sits in hers, she says, “Sit. Eat.”
My heart thumps an irregular beat, fluttering with nerves. “Please excuse my ignorance, and I hope you do not find me ungrateful for inquiring, but what prompted you to put this together?” I ask because I must. Because if I do not, my mind will wander to a conclusion that she may not be inviting me to find. I do not wish to assume that her intent is anything more than a kind gesture.
Layla’s cheeks darken as she squeezes her eyelids shut and crinkles her nose. “I knew you were going to ask that. You’d think I’d be better prepared to answer…” She takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly before answering. “It’s weird… What we’re doing. I understand the need for it, but… It’s weird. And I got to thinking today that maybe it wouldn’t be so weird if we…” shegestures at the meal laid out before us. “If we got to know each other a little better, doing something a bit more… Normal.”
My heart sinks.
I feel like such a fool. An inconsiderate, sex crazed fool.
We should have done this sooner. Why did I not think to do this sooner? Especially now that we will not have any time at all, for some time, to do it again.
“It is interesting you chose tonight to talk because I do have something to talk to you about.”
She sits back in her seat as I turn toward her in mine.
Fiddling with one of the buttons on her blouse, she asks, barely above a whisper, “Did something happen? Is Sutton—”
It takes all my strength not to reach out for her. Hold her. Comfort her. “Nothing like that. I have been assigned a mission. Off planet. A ship that has been missing for some time has been located. The comm we found on the alpha that attacked you proved helpful.” A light—hope flickers in her eyes. I can only imagine she is as relieved as I am that her and Sutton’s sacrifice was not for nothing. “I am to lead the mission to retrieve it.”
“How long will you be gone?” The concern in her voice is undeniable, but I cannot assume her concern is solely for my safety, but more for how she will get around the Center once my scent is no longer on her skin.
“Too long,” I admit.
Layla pushes her hands into her lap and fidgets with her fingers, picking at her nails. “When do you leave?”
“Tomorrow. Midday.”
She leverages her nails against one another, making them click loudly as she also chews on her bottom lip.
After several seconds, she shakes her head and says, “That’s too soon. I can’t be ready that soon.”
“Ready?” I ask, wishing we were bound and I could read her thoughts.
Layla bites her lip so hard, I fear it will bleed.
“Ready for what, Layla?” I ask, needing to know.
“To bond,” she says, unable to meet my gaze.
I fail to find words and sit with my mouth agape.
It is for the best as Layla begins to ramble, “I’m not letting another alpha mark me. Oh. I would just… I can’t. I don’t trust anyone else. But I’m not ready to bond with you. I don’t know if I ever will, but I can’t go without an alpha’s scent. And, I mean, besides you leaving, it would be so much easier to perform the bonding ritual once than put ourselves through night after night of… “
