“Torture?” I finish for her. I know it is probably a different kind of torture for her, but it is torture just the same.
“It’s a stupid idea.” She throws herself back in her seat.
In lieu of touching her, I place a hand on the table nearest to her. “It is not stupid. You just have not thought it all the way through. Would being bonded to me mean you could walk freely about the Center? Yes. But being bound would not quell your desires. In fact, it would only serve to amplify them. You would have no ability to resist your desire because you would have no need to resist. Your instinct would overrule every part of you that wishes to wait for Sutton to return. I know you do not wish for this room to become your prison, but I also know you cannot give up on him.”
A tear streaks her cheek. She aggressively swipes it away. “I’m trying so hard to hold on, but I don’t think I have the strength.” She swipes away more tears that she cannot contain. “I should be angry at him for leaving. I should probably hate him, but I can’t. What makes all of this even more difficult and confusing is that when you say things like that, when you don’t take advantage of me, and try to talk me into giving up on Sutton and bond with you, I’m even more drawn to you.” Her fingers play with the button of her shirt at the peak of her cleavage. When Idrag my eyes up, away from her heaving bosom, I find her eyes, dark and fixed on me.
I wish she had not said that. It was hard enough, hurt too much to be with her when I thought she only tolerated me. When I thought her desires were only a result of her base instinct and not her feelings.
Knowing, now, that she has even the slightest amount of caring feelings for me and still chooses to reject me… I have never felt a greater pain than this.
“Layla, I…” My voice catches in my throat when her hand lands on my knee.
“You are a good male, Zayd. I may not know your past or your favorite food or the little things about you that make you, you, but I do know you are good.”
My eyes drift to her chest again when she leans forward, and the fabric droops where she unbuttoned it, exposing more of her cleavage and the soft curve of her breasts.
“Trustworthy. Kind. Generous. You are good to your own detriment.” Her voice is thick, and her palm warms my skin in a way I have only been allowed to dream about.
As her hand slides up my thigh, I cannot hide the fullness of my arousal.
“See?” she says when I grab her hand and stop her. “Good and honorable. No one else is like you.” She does not withdraw her hand.
I cannot help but think she wishes me to let her continue, but I cannot.
“I will not lie to you, Layla. I wish to the stars I did not have to stop you, but I will keep my promise. For your sake and the regret you will suffer if I do not.”
Layla takes her hand back and grips her shirt over her chest to hold it closed. “How long do you think you can keep it?”
“As long as I must.” It is an effort to sound confident, but I manage it.
“Forever?” The incredulity in her voice does not go unnoticed. She does not believe it any more than I do.
“If that is what I must do,” I lie because while I would absolutely keep it as long as she refused me, I know there is a limit to how many times I can say no to her advances.
“I shouldn’t be doing this to you. Keeping you from claiming an omega of your own. It’s cruel,” Layla says, letting her hands land in her lap again.
“You are not keeping me from anything. I promised Sutton I would care for you, not for his sake but for yours and my own. You are the only omega I want, and I will have you in whatever way I can. If this is the extent of the relationship I am allowed to have with you, I will endure it.”
“What if I can’t?” Her hands are tight fists in her lap now. “What if I can’t resist my omega urges forever?”
Against my better judgment, I reach across the distance between us and cover her hands with mine. “Whatever happens, we will endure it together.” It is not a promise to never claim her if she asks me to, but a promise that wherever we end up, I will be there for her.
“Unless you don’t come back. Your mission, is it dangerous?” she adds when I cock my head in question.
“I do not expect it to be, but I suppose anytime we travel, we accept some level of risk.”
Her hands turn to take hold of mine. “What do I do if you don’t come back? No one else made the promise you made to Sutton. What happens to me if you don’t come back?”
She is not only concerned with not being able to leave her room once my scent wears off, but she is also afraid of being alone. Of being abandoned, again.
She needs someone to take care of her. And there is only one other male I would trust with Layla’s safety.
“You called me trustworthy,” I say, squeezing her hands more tightly.
A soft smile lights her eyes. “Yes.”
“Can you trust me when I tell you that I will ensure you are not left alone?”
