“Jeremy?”
Steam curled from the gap in the bathroom door. I peeked around the corner. Jeremy’s back was to me, oblivious that I was home, a comb raking through his wet hair, and a black towel riding low on his hips. The scent of soap hung in the fog, and when my foot landed on the marble tiles, I saw nothing but the water trickling down long, lean muscles sculpted by hours of tennis.
Gorgeous.
Had I forgotten Jeremy like he’d said? I’d stared at him last night after his shower too, a tight, restless ache settling in my stomach. And the night before. But he rarely offered me a suggestive smirk.
Jeremy didn’t hear the breath I sucked in for one final boost of courage. I stroked teasing fingers down his spine and pressed a kiss to his tanned shoulder. Instead of leaning into my touch, he froze, his back straightening until he stood in a tall, rigid line.
“Til’s asleep,” I murmured, but before my hand could edge under his towel, he sidestepped out of my reach.
“Erin, what the hell?”
My eyes darted everywhere. I didn’t know what to do with my hands. I found a safe place to keep them busy in the satin folds of my dress. “I’m sorry if I’ve been distant,” I blurted out. “I never meant to be. For the last few weeks, I feel like I’ve tried everything to be close to you…” I bit down too hard on my bottom lip. “Maybe tonight…we could…”
I refused to say something as trite as “Be intimate,” and the mood was too tense to drawl out a sexy “Wanna get dirty?” even though I vaguely remembered being confident and flirty when I’d first caught Jeremy’s eye across a crowded bar.
He gaped down at me, horrified, as if I’d suggested he run into a burning building to rescue my growing collection of cast-iron cookware.
I shrank away. “You don’t want to?”
“Listen, it’s just...” He exhaled slowly, shaking his head. “We’ve already said too much tonight.”
I held back a laugh.Too much?We hadn’t talkedat all. He’d been angry. I’d been confused. And once he’d grown tired of cutting me off, he’d stormed out.
Frustration bit into my voice. “We need to talk about what’s going on between us.”
“I don’t want to hurt you.”
“Be honest for once.”
His lips thinned.
“Please.”
Jeremy took a deep breath and said, “I’m not attracted to you anymore.”
My stomach twisted so tight I doubled over. I’d asked for honesty, but I wasn’t prepared for how much those words would hurt.
“O-oh,” I said, taking a step back to put more distance between us. “I… I wish you’d admitted that from the start…”
“It’s not an easy thing to say.”
It was even worse to hear it. And what could I say to my husband after he’d made this declaration? Should I cry? Scream? My fingers dug into the plump roll of my hip. I fit into all my old clothes, but my body felt different since having Matilda—rounder,softer. I was a stranger in my own skin. Should I promise Jeremy I’d make more of an effort to get in shape? I was desperate. I’d promise.
“I’ll try harder.” I forced an unconvincing smile. “What about if I join a gym? Or take up Pilates?” All the other doctors’ wives did Pilates. It was basically a prerequisite for acceptance, along with the Range Rover and the oversized designer tote bag they all had slung over their shoulders.
“I don’t think you want to do that, and look, maybe you don’t have to. Monogamy is an outdated concept. This is your chance to explore more, too. If we open up our marriage, I’m not proposing I’d be the only one to play—”
“Play?”
Jeremy rummaged in the drawer for his face cream. “It’s an expression,” he mumbled.
“If we can agree on one thing tonight, I hope it’s that you never use thatexpressionto describe what you’re suggesting ever again.”
Eyes narrowing, his fist tightened around the cream. “Erin—”
“Monogamy might be an outdated concept for you, but I couldneversleep with someone else.”
