Harriet swallowed. “Oh.”
“You were practically crawling out of your skin,” Louisa said.
“You have been ever since you arrived.”
“I am not used to you being the restless one.”
“I… I just need to move, that is all. I have done a lot of travelling in the last week or so and one gets a little pent up.” Her eyes drifted to the east.
The rolling clouds hid most of the surrounding lands from view, and she knew that even if they did not, she was too far to see what she was looking for. She realized that Catherine was talking to her again.
“Sorry, I was a million miles away.” Harriet forced herself to look back at her friends.
“And would I be right in guessing that your mind lay a little way to the east of here?” Louisa tilted her head at Harriet. “You could always visit them.”
Harriet’s muscles tensed. The knot in her stomach tightened. She forced her hands to relax.
“We could come with you,” Fiona offered, glancing from Catherine and Louisa back to Harriet. “Strength in numbers and all that. It would only be a short journey.”
“I… That is kind but no. Phoebe is not used to guests.” Harriet realized she was tapping her fingers against her thigh and stopped. “I came here to spend time with all of you. I have missed you.”
“We have missed you too.” Catherine smiled and reached for Harriet, but she shifted away.
She cleared her throat, trying to make her voice light and airy. She stretched her face into what she hoped was a smile, though the motion of it felt foreign. “Tell me what has been going on. What have you been doing these last few months? What have I missed?”
“There is nothing really to tell.” Louisa shrugged. “I have started a new knitting project that is turning out to be fiendishly difficult.”
“I have done very little. I am very ready to have this little one out of me, I feel as big as a house.” Catherine tapped her belly.
I will never have children.
For a moment, Catherine’s face faded and it was Theodore standing before her, his face cold and impassive. Harriet gritted her teeth, and forced the imagined Theodore away, focusing on Catherine’s words instead.
Her friend gestured back in the direction they had come. “And Alaric is getting more protective of me by the minute. I suspect he would have followed us out here is Fi had not convinced Oliver to distract him.”
Harriet could hear the mix of exasperation and affection in her friend’s voice, and it pulled at the scars that were starting to form over Harriet’s heart.
“He wants to make sure you are safe. He loves you.” Harriet turned as her voice broke on the last sentence, and hastily moved the focus elsewhere. “And what about you, Fi?”
Louisa answered before Fiona could. “Fiona has a new beau, but that is hardly news.”
“I am not that bad.” Fiona tossed her hair over her shoulder. “You make it seem like I have a new suitor every week. I will have you know this last one lasted nearly a fortnight.”
“Fi, I love you dearly, but you are a terrible flirt.” Catherine laughed, and the others joined in.
Harriet tried, and though the sound of her friends’ laughter chipped away at the ice that had formed at the center of her, she could not make herself join them.
“I think you will find that I am a rather excellent flirt.” Fiona grinned. “It is simply that I rarely find a man who can hold my interest. They all want to admire me, and then that admiration turns to control. Better to keep them interested but at arm’s length.”
Harriet smiled, though it felt like a fragile sort of thing.Perhaps I should have done the same.She could feel herself turningtowards the East and focused her attention back to Fiona and Louisa who were both teasing each other about the latest man attempting to win Fiona to her side.
The teasing was like a burr in her side. She knew that her friends were only doing what she had asked, that they were avoiding asking her the one question she knew they must be burning with, but a part of her felt angry.
Fiona could complain about men seeking to control her, but at least they wanted her. Belatedly, Harriet realized she had curled her hands into fists, and forced herself to relax. Catherine moved to stand beside her.
“You do not have to stay here if you do not want.” She took her hand in hers.
“Is that your way of asking me to leave?” Harriet tried to smile, but the words came out more biting than teasing.
