“Very well.” The words felt like a death knell in his heart. “Then we shall return to our separate lives.”
“It is for the best,” Harriet said.
Theodore did not reply. He did not trust himself. She did not love him, not any more. He had succeeded in the one thing he wished he could fail. He had driven her away.
He would live with his broken heart. It was the only way to give Harriet back her future.
CHAPTER 29
“May I borrow a carriage?” Harriet asked over breakfast a few days later.
Her bandages had been removed, and she no longer swayed every time she stood up. Since her conversation with Theodore, she had managed to eat and her strength was returning.
It was the right thing to do.
Her anger at him had faded, and all that was left was sadness. Perhaps in time, they would be able to be friends, but until then, separate lives would keep them both safe.
Though Harriet had come to terms with the decision, as she had grown healthier, her mind had fixed on Phoebe. She had not been away from the little girl for so long since meeting her, and she missed her fiercely. She wanted to hug her, to hear about her day and to just spend time together.
“Of course.” Catherine put her cutlery down on her plate. “Though, you may want to take a substantial one if you are planning on going far.”
“A phaeton will be fine. I will not be gone long. A day at most. The weather is good and…” Harriet trailed off when she saw the smile spreading across Catherine’s face.
She gestured to the Eastern window. “And you want to go home.”
“I want to see Phoebe. I miss her and I worry about her and… I am not going to resume any sort of connection with Theodore, so stop looking at me like that, Kitty.” Harriet frowned as Catherine’s smile broadened. “I told you, we will live our separate lives. I will move into the Dowager Duchess’s cottage and he will stay at Irondale. Phoebe will be the priority, and everything will be as it should.”
Catherine was wiping her mouth delicately with a handkerchief, but the handkerchief did not hide her grin. “Of course.”
“I mean it.” Harriet flexed her fingers.
“I know you do.” Catherine shrugged and glanced out the window. “Are you sure you do not want to borrow something heavier? You might want to stay longer… Once you see Phoebe, I mean.”
“I… No…” Harriet knew that if she brought her things with her, it would be too tempting to remain.I have to be strong.“I will just ride there and back. I only want to spend some time with her, to make sure she is well and then I will return. That is it.”
Catherine did not look convinced, but to Harriet’s relief she did not push the subject. It did not take long for Harriet to set out, and as the wind whipped at her face, she found her smile returning.
Before long, Irondale loomed in front of her, and Harriet pulled the light carriage to a stop. She looked up at the imposing turrets, and wondered if she should have sent word to Theodore before she made the journey.
“I said separate lives.” She bit her lip. “But I have already made the journey. It would be silly to turn around now.”
She clicked her tongue and steered the phaeton up the winding driveway towards the entrance. At her approach, two footmen leapt into action.
“Your Grace.” One of them helped her down, moving swiftly away and bowing.
“Thank you.” Harriet straightened her crumpled skirts.
Mr. Grimsby appeared on the doorstep, and as he saw her, his face twitched. “Your Grace. It is good to see you. I am glad you are on the mend. When Mrs. Fairfax told us what happened, wefeared the worst. Though, His Grace made it clear you would make a full recovery.”
They were worried about me?It had not occurred to Harriet that anyone would have worried about her, much less the staff. The thought touched her, and she found herself oddly breathless.
Mr. Grimsby smiled at her. “I am afraid that if you were looking for His Grace, he is out for the morning. He and Lady Phoebe have gone for a ride together, her pony arrived yesterday.”
“Oh.” Harriet paused with her foot halfway across the threshold. “I see.”
Her heart sank and she chided herself. It was good that Theodore and Phoebe were spending time together, it would make it easier to live separate lives. But she wished she did not feel the small stab of disappointment.
She glanced over her shoulder, wondering if she should leave and go back to Coldmere castle. She looked back at Mr. Grimsby.
