I jog back downstairs and find Nathan and Lily in the kitchen. “Where Rylee?”
Lily jumps and holds a hand to her chest. “Goodness, Ryne, I didn’t hear you come in.” She smiles and shakes her head. “Rylee is at Maggie’s house. We dropped her off on our way home.”
I breathe a sigh of relief that she’s not here. “Okay good, because I need to talk to you both about something and I don’t want her overhearing.” Nathan and Lily look at each other silently and gesture toward the living room. They sit on the couch and I perch on the edge of the chair beside it. “Oh, Dacen’s here, by the way. He’s hanging upstairs right now.”
Lily raises her eyebrows but says nothing. Nathan isn’t so subtle. “Leave the door open.”
I roll my eyes and nod.
Lily leans over and places her hand over mine. “What did you need to talk about, sweetie?”
I pull away and put my head in my hands. I sit up again when my leg starts bouncing.
“Ryne?” Nathan’s deep voice hits my ears, full of concern.
I plop back into the chair with a sigh. “Paige somehow got my number and has been texting me. I talked to Jonah earlier and he mentioned she recently called him, trying to get info about me.”
Lily’s mouth is frozen open. Nathan’s eyes darken and his face contorts into a snarl. He’s a scary-looking guy when he’s angry. I always feel for the person on the other side. It makes any looks I give seem like child’s play, although it takes a lot for his to come out. Paige qualifies as a lot.
“That fucking bitch,” Nathan seethes. Lily doesn’t even bother to scold him. She looks like she’s about two seconds away from saying the same thing, although she manages to keep her calm.
She slips out of her seat and comes over beside me, then wraps her arms around me and gives me a hug. I slip my arms around her and hug her back, for once not feeling uncomfortable. “I’m sorry, sweetie. You should have told us sooner. You don’t need to deal with her crap alone.”
Nathan pulls his phone out. “What number has she been texting you from?” I grab my phone and read the number to him. “I’ll take care of it, Ryne. If she contacts you again, let me know right away.” He stands up and comes over to me, and rests his hand on my shoulder. I look up at him. “Don’t let her get under your skin. Just stay focused on what matters, school, soccer, all that.” My stomach cramps at the thought. “She’s not worth one single second of your time.” He squeezes my shoulder and steps away, scrolling on his phone and tapping the screen to make a call. He walks to the kitchen with his phone to his ear. “Dean? Hey. It’s Nathan. Listen, we got a problem.” His voice fades as he leaves through the side door in the kitchen and steps outside.
“You okay, sweetie?” I nod mutely and Lily pats my knee as she stands up. “Okay. Why don’t you run back upstairs and try to forget this mess for now? It sounds like you’ve got someone much more important waiting for you.”
I do, definitely. I trudge up the stairs and hesitate near my open door. Dacen’s on the phone and like an ass, I stand there and eavesdrop.
“No, Will,” he laughs lightly. “Why not? Because you don’t really want your little brother living with you for four years while he goes to college.” He pauses and then scoffs. “Because I’d cramp your lifestyle, that’s why. I need quiet space to study and you have, like, a revolving door of women coming through your apartment.” He shifts on the bed and I hear the sheets ruffling with his movement. “Uh, fine. I’ll think about it. Whatever.” He sighs. “Yeah, yeah. I love you, too. I’ll talk to you later. Bye.” He grumbles once he hangs up and sighs again.
I stand with my back pressed against the wall, not moving, not breathing, not even blinking. I didn’t know Dacen was going to college in New York. The force of ten thousand pounds of bricks presses on my shoulders and threatens to crush me. Of course, he’s leaving. Who the hell wouldn’t catch the first plane out of here if they had a chance? I let out the breath I’d been holding and rub my thumbs over my temples. I’d like to pretend I don’t understand why I’m upset about this, but I’m not a fucking moron. It would be stupid of me to stand here and pretend I don’t feel anything for Dacen.
Much as I might wish it, I’m not a robot and some emotion slipped through the cracks and snuck its way inside me. And it sucks. Emotions suck. They truly, truly suck. They’re all kinds of tricky. They do what they want, when they want, and don’t listen to reason. When you stop and think about it, we’re basically all being controlled by a bunch of toddlers. Who needs that? And when they’re conspiring with the heart? It becomes a cluster of misunderstandings and unmet expectations. So he’s going back to New York. It doesn’t matter. We’re not together. We’re not dating. This isn’t going anywhere anyway. It’s just physical, even if things tried to take a detour into my heart there for a minute. Of course it’s going to come to an end. He’ll move on, I’ll move on. It is what it is. This is what I do. It’s whatever.
It’s fine.
* * *
After practicea few days later Tyler corners me in the locker room and gives me the third degree about Dacen. I’m already frustrated because I got another text from Paige. I finally blocked her number this time and told Nathan about it. Point is, I’m about two seconds away from ripping someone’s head off and quickly slip into my default behavior; I get defensive and stubborn.
“You do realize you’re basically dating him, right?”
I straddle one of the long benches while Tyler hovers near me. My left leg starts bouncing up and down rapidly and I cross my arms over my chest. “No, I’m not.”
Tyler stares at me like he’s speaking to an idiot, and hell, I don’t know, maybe he is. He holds up a hand and starts counting off using his fingers. “You’ve had breakfast with him the last couple of weekends. You rushed us home from laser tag that one day because you mysteriously had to be back by six, come to find out you and Dacen had dinner together that evening. And not only did you have dinner but you drove all the way to Camden Hill for tacos. You always look about two seconds away from kicking anyone’s ass who gets too close to him, regardless of their intent. He and his posse sit with us at lunch now. We haven’t expanded our group in years, yet there he is sitting next to you every day. And we all know the two of you get each other off on the regular. Shall I continue?”
I prop my hands behind my neck, elbows out, and shake my head. “None of that implies dating.” My words are weak, even to my own ears.
“How often do you text him? Do you text him before you go to sleep at night?” My nostrils flare and I look away. Not every night. Tyler chuckles. “If it looks, swims, and quacks like a duck, it’s a fucking duck, Ryne.”
My gaze swings back around to him. “It’s not a duck, Ty. It’s called a fuck buddy.” I feel like puking a little bit as soon as those words leave my mouth.
He scoffs and shakes his head. “Don’t insult him by calling him that. You and I both know that’s not what he is.”
“You don’t know shit, Ty.”
“Yeah, you keep telling yourself that.” He looks over my shoulder and his eyes widen.
