“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you, Zander. This shouldn’t be about me. You’re the one who just got dumped.”
“Ya. Because of you.”
At my words, she recoils. And I don’t blame her. I just tossed her a flaming potato.
“What are you talking about?”
I shouldn’t sling it at her this way, but I can’t hold back. “They all leave, Evie. Every single girlfriend I’ve ever had has dumped me.”
“How’s that my fault?” Her back is as straight as the lines in the blueprints I make when designing houses.
“They leave because of you.”
“What are you talking about?” Her arms are crossed and her tits are pushed high. Red lace laughing at me. Teasing me. Begging me.
“They think you’re my priority. And they’re not wrong.”
“Well, we’re friends. Of course we prioritize each other.”
I bark out an unamused laugh. “They don’t think I’m prioritizing you. They think I’m in love with you.”
“What?” Her mouth hangs open, and her eyes lock onto me. “Wh-why? Why would they say that?” She’s shaking her head again, blinking hard. Her gaze drops. “That makes no sense.”
I don’t think I’m ready to spell it out for her yet, if this is her response. She picks up the blathering. “I don’t understand. You thought she was the one. Why would the relationship last that long if you thought she was the one?”
I guess the confession just wants to make its grand appearance because I find myself admitting the truth. “Not The One, as in The One I thought I’d marry. The one, as in, the one who would help me get over you.”
Chapter 5
Evie
My feet have grown three sizes since Zander’s confession one millisecond ago. They’re so weighty that I can’t move. I feel like it’s been a leg day, arm day, and back day with how heavy my limbs feel.
BOING! That damn clown startles me out of my shocked state.
“Say something, Evie,” Zander’s voice is suddenly soft, pleading. A complete one-eighty from a second ago.
Zander. My best friend. My safe place. The man who believed me amidst all the ugly rumors in high school. Everyone thought I was a slut and had gotten myself pregnant. The gossip was ruthless. People thought I started sleeping around after my mom passed away. No one listened to me when I told them the truth, so I stopped trying. I took a couple weeks off of school to buildmyself back up. But of course the rumors only got worse. They said I must have had a miscarriage. An abortion. Anything they could say to make me look bad. I never found out who started the rumors, but it didn’t matter because everyone was guilty of spreading them.
Zander was the only one who stood by me. Defended me, even.
He’s been my safe place since forever.
And now this.
I can’t believe he’s just standing there, hands no longer gripping me that way they should. They’re limp at his sides, and he’s looking at me like a lost puppy. I’ve always been the lost one. He can’t be lost. We can’t both be lost.
When I first met Zander I thought he was the hottest guy I’d ever seen. Brown hair and blue eyes with an easy smile. Everyone loved him. He could do no wrong in the eyes of the town.
But the first time I fantasized about us being more than friends, I uprooted that thought from my head immediately. I couldn’t mistake his kindness for more than it was. I needed him as a friend.
I thought I had uprooted those thoughts. But tonight has put a seed of doubt in my head. Maybe I’ve only been chopping off the heads of the weeds. Maybe the roots are running a lot deeper than I thought.
His shirt stretches across his chest as he takes a deep inhale.
He’s still waiting for me to say something, so I say the only truth I can right now. “You’re my safe place, Zander.”
His eyes drop. And for a second I think he’s going to leave. But then he takes a step toward me. “I’ll always be your safe place, Evie.” He takes my hand in his calloused hands.
