“No. This is my time to speak. You’re not listening. You’re too busy thinking of what you want to say, planning a response, and you’re not HEARING me!” she yelled, and I sat back. Sophie never raised her voice. I had never heard her yell in all the time we had been together.
“All I can do now is move forward and try not to harbor so much hatred for you that it eats at me. I loved you. Everything I did in this relationship came from a place of honesty and trust. I don’t know how long it will take me to forgive myself for being such a fucking idiot for that. But the only way I can start is if I get away from you and the company you prefer to keep. There is one option here, and that is that you sign those papers. The question is how quietly or loudly I file them. That’s the only part of this decision you get to make.” With that, she turned her back on me, facing her lawyer.
“Mr. Carmichael, please figure out whatever additional documents my ex requires, and we can reconvene later this week. I apologize, but I’m not feeling the best at the moment, so I will have to step out early. Have a good day.” Without a backward glance, she left the room, leaving my mother and grandfatherseething around me. But I couldn’t find it in me to care. Everything was reeling inside me, my world flipped upside down. Everything I’d ever wanted or had was just out of my grasp.How did this happen?
Chapter 5
Sophie
It had been a few weeks of back and forth between our lawyers before the papers were finally signed. I spent those days at Pops’ house, where he kept me protected from wagging tongues. We would go on day trips, checking out different cul-de-sacs in new neighborhoods. Pops knew how badly I needed to get some distance from Max, Natalia, and Helen.
It was in the lovely suburban town of St. Matthews that I finally found the place where I could start over. The two-story house had everything we needed. The main floor was open, and the kitchen led right into the living room, so I could see Lou no matter what area she was in.
The fenced-in backyard was just big enough that my daughter could run around as she got older, but small enough that I could maintain it on my own. It was in a great school district and within walking distance to Cherokee Park. I put an offer down after the first tour.
Finally ready to move out and move on from all things Max, the only holdups were the squabbles back and forth regarding an NDA. Carmichael was insistent that I not sign one.
“Helen is going to use it as a gag order. She’s going to tank your reputation to make her family come out on top.”
“But what do I do, then? How much longer are they going to drag this out?” I was frustrated to the point that I would have signed the document if it weren’t for my lawyer.
“Just hang in there, Sophie. Have some trust in this old man.I’ve added an addendum that should satisfy Helen. It basically states that you will not share any of the photographs taken during this time to the press.” I rolled my eyes. I wanted nothing to do with those pictures. One look had been enough to haunt me.
“To be clear, though, this addendum states that onlyyoucannot share them. That doesn’t mean an outside source with access to the photos could misplace them.” A wicked grin spread across Brian’s face, and Walt patted him on the back.
“Well done, Brian. Alright, Sophie, my dear, let’s talk about furniture for you and Lou. I was talking to Madeline, and she mentioned they have cribs that convert into toddler beds. I thought that might be a great option for Lou’s room.” Pops was bound and determined to keep my spirits high, to stay with Lou and me.
I wished I were stronger, better prepared, so I didn’t need to rely on him to get away from Max and Helen. But I wasn’t, and I didn’t have the resources to play dirty, which I knew they would try to do.
Being camped out in Pops’ house, avoiding my husband, his mother, and his girlfriend while caring for an infant, was exhausting on every level. I was ready to climb the walls. To say it was a relief once the papers were signed was an understatement.
There were still several months until everything was processed. Before I was fully free. Maybe that’s why Helen felt it was a good time to see me off in person. Under the guise of picking up the final paperwork on Max’s behalf, she cornered me in the living room while Pops was on a call in his office.
“You were never good enough for Max, for this family. When my son met you, I told him you were a bad fit. But instead, he took you in, defended your lack of education, and … rural upbringing to our friends and family. But just like the ill-mannered hick you are, it was never enough. No, you had to go ahead and drive an even bigger wedge between Max and his grandfather. Haven’t you taken enough from him? You ruined his chance to marry Natalia, you’ve saddled him with a baby he has to support for the next two decades, and for what?”
It wasn’t my finest moment, but I was so done with the woman that I couldn’t keep it together.
“Helen, just because you’re a vile, greedy trollop who thinks she’s getting away with it, doesn’t mean the rest of us need to stoop to your level. It’s time to stop projecting your issues onto me. Where’s Natalia? She seems like a great person to swap stories with. You two have so much in common, after all.”
“How dare you!” She balked.
Her self-righteousness was laughable. She was such a fucking hypocrite, it was making me crazy. Helen took a step toward me, pointing a long, manicured nail in my face, and I lost it. I grabbed her wrist, and she let out a gasp. I was enjoying her fear, the feel of her thin, papery skin under my hand.
“You stay in your lane, and I’ll stay in mine—the one where I actually give a shit about people and am capable of parenting my own child. Don’t you have some charity ball you need to be at? Can’t let the people know what a vapid shrew you truly are.”
She reared back as if to slap me, but Carmichael appeared out of nowhere, quickly stepping between us.
“The papers were signed less than twenty-four hours ago, and you’re already violating part of the agreement. You are not to have any direct discussion with my client. Now, I’m going to escort you out of here. If I find out you have tried to contact Sophie, I don’t care if it’s over the phone, email, or a message in a bottle. One more word from you, and I’ll have that restraining order filed in court and in the tabloids.” Pursing her lips, Helen shot me a withering look.
“Trailer trash.” She spat her last dig at me under her breath as she pushed past me before storming out of the house.
I was given primary custody of Lou, something I was eternally grateful for. I knew a court would take one look at Max’s family and assume she was better off with him. I didn’t trust him to take care of our daughter the way she needed, the way she deserved.
Outsourcing responsibilities to a nanny or housekeeper was Max’s preferred method of parenting. That being said, I wasn’tgoing to stand in the way of him having a relationship with his daughter if that was what he wanted. He got one weekend a month, and we were expected to split holidays between us; Helen demanded it so they could parade Lou around at social events, already rewriting history. She was making sure Max played the part of the doting parent to their advantage. I could only imagine what they told people about me those first few times when I didn’t accompany Lou. How I had abandoned the family, forcing Max to step up as a single father. It paved the way for Natalia to take her spot by Max’s side. Supporting her dear friend, she would be the one to mend the rip in the broken family that I left behind.
Less than a few months after the divorce was finalized, they announced their engagement. They insisted Lou attend their large engagement party, Natalia eager to play the role of doting stepmother. I didn’t feel it was appropriate for me to attend, and let Max take Lou for the night. It was the first time we had been apart since she was born. Even though he was allowed to have her overnight at that point, my ex had found reasons to cancel any visits up until then. Lou was only twenty months old.
I was still very protective of my baby girl. I barely slept a wink, staring at my phone all night, waiting for a phone call, checking social media for glimpses of my baby, desperate to get confirmation she was okay. All of the photos that came through were glossy, posed. Natalia holding my darling girl, surrounded by Max and Helen. Doubt crept in as I studied the photos, the picture-perfect family looking back at me. I spent the night sobbing, wondering if I had done the right thing, if Lou would be better off with them.
