My hands shook as I drove to my old house the following morning, eager to get my girl. As soon as I put the car in park, the front door opened, and an annoyed-looking Natalia practically shoved Lou toward me, dropping the diaper bag I had left with her onto the gravel.
“She hasn’t stopped crying all night. You need to teach herbetter manners.” I clutched Lou to my chest, her red face and glassy eyes eating at me.
“What is the matter with you? If a baby is crying, that means something is wrong. Can’t you tell that she needs a diaper change? When did you feed her last? And how late did you keep her at that party? I told Max she had to be in bed by eight at the latest!” I snapped, and Natalia’s face turned ugly.
“The nanny took her home from the party early. She fed her and put her to bed. I don’t know what time, though. That’s not my job,” she replied, affronted at the suggestion.
“Not your job? What the fuck does that mean? You’re supposed to be her stepmother. That fucking implies you take basic steps to take care of her.”
“How dare you talk to me like that!” she said, stepping forward.
“Go home! Mommy home!” My daughter cried, and I took a breath, trying to calm myself.
“Come on, baby girl. Let’s go visit Pops, then we can go home. How does that sound?”
“You’re really gonna run to Walter about this? Why do you have to drag him into everything? She’s fine! Kids cry,” Natalia argued, her eyes angry.
“Home! Go home!” Eloise wailed. I was done. I turned on my heel and headed for the car, not waiting to see what Natalia would do. Once Lou was secure in her car seat, I drove the short distance to Pops’ house. The guard at the front gate must have seen something on my face, because he buzzed me in without question, and Pops was waiting out front when I got there.
“What did they do?” he asked, reaching into the back for Lou before I was even around the car.
“I need to get Lou settled. Then we can talk.” Together, we got her cleaned up and changed. She ate an enormous amount of food—something both Pops and I watched with forced smiles. He disappeared to make some calls as I went to put Lou down for a much-needed nap. It took reading her favorite story three times before she finally fell into an exhausted sleep.
When I got back downstairs, Carmichael was there, and I headed straight for him.
“She’s not staying alone with them ever again. I don’t care what event it is. I don’t care if it’s their goddamn wedding day. My child is not there without me. I will have them investigated by CPS.”
“Sophie, come on. You’re overreacting. It was her first time staying with us.” Max’s voice drifted out of the device that sat between Carmichael and Pops. I hadn’t realized he was on the phone when I walked in, but his response only reaffirmed what I was saying.
“That is no excuse. You weren’t even there when I picked Lou up. You don’t know the state she was in,” I replied, furious at his blind acceptance of whatever bullshit Natalia had told him.
“Goddamnit, Sophie, why do you have to make everything so difficult?” His voice was filled with frustration.
“That’s enough,” Pops interjected, his temper clearly rising. “I have to agree that Lou was in a dangerous state after leaving your house. If you doubt this, feel free to check the footage from your ring camera. I already have, and it’s clear neither you nor Natalia is prepared for actual parenthood. Any events going forward where you would like Eloise present, Sophie will accompany her. Additionally, you will never be alone with Lou for more than an hour, and never overnight,” Pops declared. I could almost hear Max grinding his teeth.
“Let me talk to Nat and get back to you.”
“There’s nothing to get back to us about. This is what’s happening. Carmichael is already making the custody revisions, and you will sign them. Otherwise, I personally will call CPS on you and your darling fiancé,” Pops replied, and I sagged into a chair.
“Fine.” Without so much as a goodbye or question regarding his daughter’s well-being, Max disconnected the call.
That was how the next few years progressed. I was dragged to all major family events so Max and Nat could pose with Lou, playing doting parents while I supervised to make sure she wasactually taken care of. I hated every moment of it, but I would do whatever it took to keep my girl safe.
I always had a good relationship with both my parents, and had hoped that, as Lou got older, Max would step up and take that relationship seriously. It didn’t appear that way, and Nat never seemed to connect with her. The resentment was there, palpable in person. Lou was the one thing I still had over Natalia, and she hated me for it.
I selfishly wondered why she didn’t have a child of her own, thinking that would release Lou and I from the facade, but it never happened. Neither Max nor Nat seemed inclined to have more kids, or to do anything with the one child they technically had.
Under their noses, Lou was growing, her personality shining. My beautiful, funny, energetic girl was a gift they took for granted. I hated agreeing to any sort of custody with Max. The few hours we were sucked back into that toxicity always set me back emotionally and mentally.
Leaving Max, starting over as a single parent to Eloise, wasn’t easy, but it was the best decision I had ever made. I never would have managed to get through the divorce without Pops. Five years later, and he was still a constant presence in our life, his love and devotion for Lou so pure that it humbled me.
That he constantly had to go to bat for me against his family was something I hated, though. It was a constant source of guilt and shame. Between Pops and me, Lou was never alone with Max, Natalia, or Helen. It was a thorn in my side, and despite all the precautions we took, they still managed to make co-parenting a nightmare. Every holiday or weekend that Lou was supposed to spend with Max seemed to fall on some sort of event.
Visits to my family suffered as I had to spend those weekends hiding in the shadows, keeping an eye on my girl. It was my penance, the price I had to pay to be free of them in my everyday life. It made my life with Eloise that much more precious, our moments together that much more important.
I would do whatever I could to make sure my daughter didn’t suffer because of her father’s sins and my poor decisions.
Chapter 6
