I popped up off the bed before David barged in on us. Before we even had eyes on him, he was talking in the hallway, “Who’s stuff is in the living room? If you hired an in-home nurse, I hope she’s smokin'.” He walked in and saw me standing there, and his mood changed instantaneously. “Hell no,” turning to Jim. “You can’t be serious?”
“Hi David, thanks for coming for a visit. I appreciate it,” I heard with sarcasm knowing it was going to piss David off, before Jim put him in his place for being an asshole.
“What is going on, Jim,” holding his arms open and out in my direction. “Why is he here?”
“Because he offered to stay to assist me and keep me company while I recover,” Jim stated, matter of factly.
“He is the reason why you are recovering in the first place!” I felt like I wanted to disappear again. The guilt was so thick within me already. I didn’t need extra piled on.
“HEY,” Jim yelled, shutting David right up, but it made the pillow behind him slip from the force. As he was trying to place it back where it needed to be, I walked around the bed giving David a wide berth and helped. “Thanks, Charlie,” giving me a small smile. “Why don’t you go get your belongings and make yourself at home in my other bedroom. It will give us a moment to talk,” looking back at David, his tone turning more serious. “Best friend to best friend.”
“Yeah, okay. Sure.” I turned to walk out the door with David’s eyes trying to burrow a hole into me.
“Oh Charlie,” I turned around to look at him again when he didn’t continue. “Help yourself to any of the books in there while you’re at it,” giving me a lopsided smirk like he knew this was going to piss David off even more.
Reading between the lines of that sentence I piled on my parting jab at the both of them with a big ass smile, “Thanks, Jimmy.”
Then I dashed out the door, leaving Jim laughing and groaning at the same time that David said, “You fucking let him call you Jimmy!”
“Knock it off, David. Now you listen–,” but I missed the rest of what was said heading down the stairs.
seventeen
My Diamond
Jim
David was riled up to no end.
He made his feelings known that he didn’t like that Charlie was the cause of this happening to me, that his mouth was dangerous, and that I refused to acknowledge it. Instead, I was keeping him around when he should be “far, far away”. I had to talk him off the ledge, which was never fun. Getting him to calm down when his emotions were high and his thoughts were loud was never easy, whether it was because of something exciting or– like this. His Italian genes were heavy.
Even though I told him Charlie shouldn’t be to blame, even though he ran his mouth off, he was just coming to our defense, which David would have done too. He didn’t like that I pointed him out because he knew I was right. I could tell he was having a hard time letting it go, even after changing topics totalk about my recovery, making the air in my room uncomfortable.
Especially when Charlie came back in to check on me. At that point, David excused himself, saying he’d be back to check on me later this week. Maybe bring some beers, if I was allowed to drink.
But with David leaving, it left Charlie and me alone again. We were interrupted before when we were in the heat of the moment. It excited me. I haven’t felt like this about anyone. Sure, I’ve been attracted to men, and have had sex occasionally with men, but all that was without real feelings. But this also scared me. I never thought I would ever be in this position. And I had been okay with that. I was safer like that. I still had to hide myself, blend in, but it was easier to hide and blend by yourself than with another person.
That tended to draw attention.
But now Charlie just stood there awkwardly by the door, like he didn’t know if he was welcome to come any closer after David’s spectacle.
“Come here, Honey,” as I reached out my hand.
He crept my way, like a hesitant animal not knowing if the human was safe. “You called me that at the hospital.” He was cutely gnawing the side of his mouth as he was getting on the bed, gingerly so as not to bounce me.
“Yeah. I was just trying to get your attention, and it slipped out. But it worked so,” I shrugged. “Plus, I like it for you, it fits.”
Charlie pinched his face in with a scrunched nose, brows dropping. “Why? You barely know me to give me an endearment.”
“I know enough. Plus, when I kiss you, you are always sweet like honey,” I lightly touched his lips with the tips of my fingers. “I have been waiting for Davidto leave so I could get another taste. I’m already so addicted.”
I pulled him forward and kissed him full on. He came to me without resistance, but it didn’t feel right this time. Something was off. So, I pulled back to look at him, but he was looking down at the bed.
“Charlie, what’s wrong, Honey?” I touched his face to look at me. His eyes were skittish. “Talk to me, please. You are safe here.” I placed my forehead on his, touching our noses together and wiggling mine, which made him crack a small smile that raised his cheek muscles.
“This is, umm…,” pausing. He was searching my eyes, maybe for a pre-reaction to what he was about to tell me. He exhaled a sweet breath and revealed what I already assumed. “I had never kissed anyone before Monday,” then went back to biting his bottom lip.
“Stop that,” I reach up to pull his lip out, “if anyone is going to bite your lip, it’s going to be me.” I gave him a teasing smirk and some heat in my eyes. “And there is nothing to be worried about. I’m not going to pounce on you or force you to do anything you don’t want, especially with the condition I am currently in. So, you can quiet your mind and stop the spiral that is spinning. This may be happening fast, but you have always been in control of the speed.”
