“Because you’re supposed to be straightening out your head.”
“Helping my family would help me straighten out my head!”
He lifts a hand to rub at his jaw as his lips purse for a moment, considering what I’ve just told him. It infuriates me when he says, “No. My decision stands. They can all work alone.”
“What the hell is wrong with you, dude? Why would you do that?” I have the foresight to grab the edge of the door and swing it shut before pulling out one of the chairs on this side of the desk, but I don’t sit. I just plant my hands on the desk and lean towards him. “Are you punishing them for what I did? Why? You’re not usually a prick, but if you want to be one, fine, be one. But put it all on me. Be the biggest asshole to me but leave them out of it.”
Nate’s head tilts to the side. He contemplates it. Then he leans forward, picks up his pen, and shakes his head. “Nope.”
My hands lift a couple inches then slam back down on the desk. The sound it makes seems to echo through the small room, but he doesn’t flinch. Nate holds his ground, his pen raised over his paper like he’s about to go back to what he was doing before I intruded. It enrages me.
“Damn it, Nate! What the fuck do you want from me? You want me to clean the entire firehouse by myself? I will. You want me to do it with a toothbrush? Fine. But leave them the fuck out of it,” I shout, a hand gesturing towards the door while the other stays rooted in place on his desk. I’m worried if I lift it even a hair it’ll sweep everything off the surface in anger.
Far more calmly than I would, Nate shuts his open laptop and slowly rises to his feet. Mimicking my prior stance, his hands find his desk and he leans towards me.
“You know what I want, Liam?” he asks, and there’s a slight snarl curling his lip. “I want to know why the hell you’re willing to fight for all of them, but not for my sister.”
I rear back with such force you’d think he hit me. The back of my knees hit the edge of the chair and I’m halfway to sitting when I catch myself and pop back up.
“Wha-what did you say?” I ask, but I don’t actually need him to repeat it. I heard him loud and clear. It’s just not what I expected, and I’m buying myself time to come up with…well, thoughts of any kind. Because there are none.
“You’re willing to come in here, pissed as all hell, and demand answers. For Christ sake, you’re willing to clean the whole damn firehouse with a toothbrush just so none of them need to do it.” There’s more emotion in him now than I’ve seen all day. His hands are waving towards the door, and then to me, and then pound against his chest. “I want to know why you,” he points at me again, “fight harder for them than you ever did for Jordan.”
“They—they’re—I—because—I mean—they’re family, man!” I sputter at him, my eyes wildly looking all around the room as if something in here will give me the correct answer.
“And what the fuck did you consider Jordan?” he roars at me, his own hands hitting the table with a thud. “A fuck? Is that all she was to you? Is that why it was so easy not to fight for her? To stand up to me and take what you want? Because you never actually wanted her?”
“No!” I yell, stepping back to the desk, my heart beating wildly in my chest as I hit back. “She wasn’t just a fuck! She’s fucking everything to me. She’s everything I didn’t know I needed, and everything I never knew I wanted. She’s all I think about, day in and day out, and the last week has been fucking hell because I’m so fucking in love with her that without her I feel lost and broken!”
Chapter 26
Liam
Thewordscomeoutangry and passionate before I can stop them. Before I can even think about them. They hang between us for a long moment as my brain catches up with the pace of my mouth. When it finally gets there, I stumble back until my legs hit the chair again, but this time I fall into it in a daze.
What the fuck did I just say?
I’m so fucking in love with her?
In love. With Jordan.
I…I don’t even know what love is. I don’t know anything about it. I don’t know what it’s supposed to feel like. A month ago I’d never even been on a date. Three weeks ago I’d never been in a relationship. And I don’t think you can count a two week stint as a real relationship, so I don’t think I’ve truly been in one. There’s no way I can be in love with her.
Right?
“No,” I mumble to myself. “I can’t be…”
“Why?” Nate counters from across the desk.
It startles me, and I glance over with a shake of my head. “What?”
“Why can’t you be?” he repeats with a look that says he knows exactly where my thoughts have gone. “Why can’t you be in love with her?”
“Be—because—I’m Liam. I don’t do…relationships. Orfeelings. And love!” I huff with a laugh. “We both know I definitely don’t do love.”
Nate slowly sinks back into his chair across from me, but his attention doesn’t falter. “Why not?”
“What?”
