“She’s just cranky—like you seem to be.” He looked over his shoulder with a knowing brow she well remembered. “I hear that jet lag can be a bitch.”
She heaved out a breath. “It is. Finding Flame has an attitude problem doesn’t help. Oh, and since we’re on the subject. While it was nice of you to give me your potato chips, I have my family’s share and Jolene’s.”
The topic of Neil she would have to swallow for now.
Ben gave another muffled chuckle. “And here Will worried about me being a grizzly bear. You seem to have gotten the memo this morning. I went back and forth about coming out here when I saw you headed to the barn. I knew you wanted to ride out and see Sarah, but?—”
A hard ball lodged in her throat. The lights flickered again, making Ben look up and frown, but she got the message. He’d been thinking about her, and here she was acting hurt and grouchy. “Are you saying maybe Flame would have responded better if I’d worn a welcome hat?”
“No, she’s got a grudge against you for leaving. Thinks you abandoned her.”
Like mewas implied.
She dug her nails into her palms as she walked over and sat down on a hay bale. “I didn’t feel like I could visit her when I came home.”
His Stetson dipped low, hiding his face, but she heard his soft curse. “I realize that, and I’m to blame. I didn’t know how to handle the situation. I knew you didn’t want to have anything to do with me.”
Here it was. “If we’ve got any shot at making this trial run work, we’ve got to talk things out all the way. I told Jolene it’s like lancing a boil.”
She could hear him grind his teeth over the munch of hay from another stall. “Not here. Even though he’s asleep, my boy has the run of the ranch, and I don’t want him overhearing anything if he comes looking for me.”
That dull ache in her heart throbbed. When she first saw Cooper, she saw a lot of Ben in him. His smile, his dimples, his eyes. But then he made a face, an expressionso likeAmber, that it was hard to look at him. She certainly didn’t want Cooper overhearing their conversation, though. “Another time, then.”
“No, we do this now.” He walked over and opened another stall, leading Orion out. “You’ll ride my horse, and I’ll ride Flame. We’ll see if we can coax her into letting you handle her on the way back.”
As he strode off toward the tack room, she pressed her hands to her thighs.Isn’t this part of why I’m back?When she caught him carrying her old saddle toward her, she thrust off the hay bale and headed toward him. “I can do it.”
“Good, then you might stand back as I lead Flame out.”
He still swung the saddle onto Orion’s back for her before heading to the angry mare’s stall. Flame cuddled him before coming out at his gentle urging.
Hannah saddled Orion, murmuring softly to him. He made her work for it for about two beats before nuzzling her neck, welcoming her back. She’d take that as a win. He’d always been a strong, solid mount. Quiet. Dependable. Like his owner.
When she tightened the girth and adjusted the stirrups, she noticed her saddle was in tip-top condition. “Who cleaned my saddle? I was all ready to do that this morning.”
“Things get done around here,” he called back, capably saddling Flame. “You need help getting back into the saddle?”
God, wasn’t that a metaphor? “No, I’ll manage.”
She was a little rusty as she put her foot into the stirrupand swung up. She’d barely ridden in seven long years. Ben cleared his throat in that knowing way of his. Damn annoying.
“You head out first,” he called. “I want to keep Flame back a bit until we can ride out some of her anger. Ah…where’s your cowboy hat?”
“At my parents’ house. I wasn’t there long enough yesterday to pick up any of my things.”
She’d realized in bed last night that all of her keepsakes of her relationship with Ben were in those boxes. Did she have any memories that didn’t include him? All the photos she’d taken showcased him. What was she going to do about that? She still didn’t have any answers, so she planned to avoid it as long as possible. Her father’s frosty greeting yesterday made that easy.There I go again, avoiding things.
“I’m sorry to hear that,” he said quietly. “Your mother isn’t well.”
His voice carried a heavy weight. Ben had a whole trunkful of knowledge about the complicated workings of her family. “Dad said she fell, but Jolene thinks it’s more than that.”
“So do I.” He took off toward the tack room again.
When he returned, he was carrying a cream-colored cowboy hat embroidered with flowers, a present he’d bought her for her sixteenth birthday. He handed it to her, avoiding her gaze, but she watched him swallow thickly. Touching the familiar brim, she felt a knot lodge in her chest. “Someone cleaned my hat too?” she asked hoarsely.
“The McAllisters take care of things,” he said. “Let’s ride.”
Clutching the beautiful hat in her hands, she felt tears fill her eyes. She was overtired. Overemotional. Over—everything.
