“That is not… you are focusing on the wrong thing!”
“I am not,” she said firmly. “You care about Millicent, Edward. I know that you do. And if you do not make things right, you might lose her forever. Please…” She looked down at him, her expression pleading. “Trust me on this.”
She needed him to listen to her. She needed him to hear what she said and understand their truth. And not just so that his relationship might be fixed with Millicent, but so that she would know that he trusted her and valued her and wanted her to be by his side.
Please, Edward. For me…
“Later.” He shrugged her off and she winced. “This is what matters right now, Celestine. This is the only thing which does.”
“It does not –”
“It does!” he cried suddenly, frustration taking over. “You just do not understand. My reputation… it will be the end of Millicent if I do not fix this. If I don’t act now, it will not matter if she and I are… our relationship will be irrelevant if I fail her.”
“But you haven’t failed her.”
“Nor will I,” he said with determination, even anger. A shake of the head. “I cannot lose sight of it. If I do that, then this entireSeason… all that I have done will be pointless. For nothing. A complete waste of my time!”
Celestine lurched back as if his words had physically struck her.
He does not mean that… does he?
Deep down, she knew that he referred to his efforts to save Millicent’s reputation, that was what troubled him and what he sought to fix. But on the surface of it, the obvious point that she could not ignore was how her marriage to him was intangibly linked to it all.
Their false engagement, and then their marriage, was a key reason that Edward’s reputation had risen so quickly that Season. And to think that he believed it to be for nothing… that all he cared about was Millicent… it hurt. It hurt Celestine more than she could bear.
Perhaps he was just speaking out of hand. Perhaps he was just angry and not thinking. But she looked down at her husband, she saw the rage, she saw the stubbornness, and she saw clearly a man who had not listened to her once since she walked into the room.
They were not equals. He did not value her. In that moment, Celestine felt small, insignificant, and utterly worthless in Edward’s eyes.
“You… you do not mean that,” she said, her voice cracking.
“Of course I do,” he said. “You know exactly what I have been trying to do this Season, Celestine. And now that I am so close, I will not be denied.”
She looked at him pleadingly, begging that he would understand his mistake. And while she was sure he did not mean what he said, that he did not realize it… that it did not cross his mind… that was just as bad.
“I…” Celestine swallowed her pain. “I think… it sounds as if you do not need me here.”
“Not at the moment.” He went back to looking at the desk.
“As that is the case, I think I might go and stay with my sister.” She walked back around the desk. “I know that she is busy with her son, so I might offer her my help.”
He snapped his head up and frowned. “What? You’re leaving?”
“Unless there is a reason for me to stay?”
Again, she offered him a pleading look, a final chance for him to realize what he said and take it back. But he was just so angry, so focused on what he was doing, that he either did not realize or did not care. If anything, her announcement only made it worse.
“Fine,” he said and looked back down. “If you feel that you must.”
Celestine opened her mouth, a final attempt to beg and make her case. But her words caught in her throat, and she would not plead with a man who would not hear it anyway.
Turning slowly, Celestine crossed the room. She reached the door, opened it, and looked back one last time. Edward did not look up, ignoring her entirely, and her heart split right down the middle so that she wanted to cry.
They had been so close… almost there… only for their false paradise to be ripped out from under them. And while Celestine would weep for it, what hurt the most was the very real fact that Edward would not. Likely, he would not notice at all.
Chapter Twenty-Six
Celestine did as she had done every day for the past week. She sat by her bedroom window, watching the front driveway, wishing and hoping that at its end, her husband might suddenly appear.
