She felt like a fool for doing so. She felt weak and pathetic. She felt as if she was betraying herself somehow, as if her husband did not deserve such an action… her affection… and her need to see him again.
Just because he does not deserve it, that does not mean that I must deny what I know in my heart.
Was she stupid for thinking that Edward might change his mind? When she had told him that she was leaving, she had seen no hint at all that such an announcement upset in. He was so distracted by his own vengeance, so focused on that which he thought that he could control, that he hardly seemed to realize what she was saying.
And while Celestine did not make her threat with the intention of waiting until Edward came to take her back, she knew almost the second that she walked out of his office that such a result was what she wanted.
Still, she believed that he cared for her. Still, she knew that he missed her. And still, she dreamed that her marriage was not in ruins. However, for this to be proven, Edward had to be the one who realized what she meant to him, just as Edward had to be the one to take action.
And so, every morning she woke up, she bathed and ate breakfast, then she sat by her window and watched, and waited, and prayed that he was the man who she was starting to fall in love with…
“There you are.” Ariadne’s voice came as a concerned sigh. “Although, why I thought you might be anywhere else.” Celestine turned in time to see her sister’s forlorn expression as she crossed the room. “This isn’t healthy, Celestine. Truly, you cannot keep doing this to yourself.”
“What else do you suggest?” Celestine turned back to look out the window. It was a sunny day, but she did not feel it. The sun was cold on her skin, the blue skies gray to her eyes.
“Anything else!” Ariadne’s came beside her. “Cedric and I are about to take a carriage into the city. The park is sure to be lovely today. Emmet has never been and Emily has been begging to be taken out of the house. Come with us.” She rested a gentle hand on Celestine’s shoulder.
“I…” Celestine considered. “What if Edward comes when we are out?”
“Then he can leave a message.”
“I would rather be here when he does.”
Celestine was almost embarrassed to say the words. By that point, she doubted very much that her husband would suddenly snap to her senses and come to see her. It had been a full week and even as stubborn as he was, that was far too long.
No, the simple truth was that he had meant what he said. The only thing he cared about was Millicent and now that he had gotten what he needed out of Celestine, he was done with her.
The truth was, Celestine was too broken to go to the park. She did not want to see happy people. She did not want them to see her depression. Better to hide away until her pain was healed and her life was not such an obvious misery.
“Celestine…” Her sister’s voice cracked. “How long is this going to go on for?”
Celestine said nothing.
“You are hurting,” her sister continued. “And I am not going to be the one to drag you out of it. But please know that we are here for you, Celestine. If you need anything at all…”
“I know it.” She turned and offered her sister a forced smile. “And do not fear, Ariadne. It has only been a week. Either Edward will realize his mistake and come for me, or I will move on. Regardless, time is what I need.”
“Emily is worried about you,” her sister pressed. “She wants to know why you have not seen her all week.”
“I…” Celestine winced. “Tonight, I will join you for supper.”
“Truly?” Her sister brightened with hope.
Celestine did not want to join them for supper. All week, she had avoided doing as much. While she loved her family, it hurt to see them so happy. It was a constant reminder of what she had nearly had… and what she likely never would.
If only she had stuck to her stubborn ways. The Mad Hargrave Sister… yes, it was a lie, but it was one she had come to believe, just as it was one that had kept her safe. But she shed that identity, she remembered who she had once been and what she had once wanted, and it had broken her.
“Truly,” Celestine said. “And tell Emily… tell her I have been sick, but I am starting to feel better.”
“I already have,” her sister said. “But you best keep your promise. Staying cooped up in her, it only makes things worse. And Edward does not deserve your sorrow, Celestine. He deserves nothing.”
She winced, not believing that at all.
A small part of her hoped that Edward suffered as she did, but that was weak and pitiful and not her true feelings. She cared for him too much. And now that she knew it, her biggest regret was that she had not let him know how she felt. Not really.
They were so close… a few more days… maybe a week… who knows what would have happened?
“Oh, and one more thing.” Ariadne half turned to leave when a thought came to her. “I know this is likely the last thing you wish to hear, but the last ball of the Season is this Friday. Cedric intends to go, just as he intends for me to.”
