“You didn’t think either of us needed to know the truth,” I repeated each word slowly, enunciating every letter because I couldn’t believe what my brother had shared. Blood roared in my ears, and the flurry of emotions I’d been experiencing allweek bubbled to the surface. “What the actualfuck, Colin,” I roared, the anger, frustration, and growl in my voice shocking both of us. “If you wanted something I didn’t have, go to the fucking store. She’s a person, Colin! How could you do that to her? You two are supposed to be friends.”
“I know, I know,” he defended, quickly, carelessly. “I fucked up.”
I hastily ran a hand through my hair as I paced up and down the driveway. “No, you don’t fucking know! Because if you did, you never would’ve done that. I don’t care what your fucking deal is with me. Getting her involved in the middle was out of line. Do you not realize how much your relationship impacted her?” I wasn’t about to share what Eliza had told me—he didn’t deserve to know—but he needed to know that itdidhave an impact on how she approached life. How that coupled with her trauma and grief changed her view on relationships—and it wasn’t her fault.
Colin had tried to change things about Eliza because he saw how much we had in common. It had nothing to do with her and everything to do with him and his insecurities.
I wasn’t one to let my emotions show so clearly like this, but I had no control of it. His words looped in my brain, and I thought it was some sick fucking joke. It was the last thing I wanted Eliza to be a part of, and that gutted me. She’d been open with me about the struggles she had with Colin, and now I was finding out it was something my brother did to show me up for whatever fucking reason.
“I—I guess I didn’t know.” He shook his head. “She never said anything. She always kept things to herself. It was impossible to know what she was thinking. I didn’t think it was that deep.”
“Because you didn’t make her feel safe! You didn’t make herfeel like she could open up to you, and clearly it was for good reason.”
Colin scoffed, the unease he felt earlier now turning into anger and frustration. “Here comes Leo yet again with all the answers. You always have to be right, don’t you? You act so high and mighty, but don’t pretend like you’re innocent in all this.” He turned toward me, glaring. “All your side conversations with her and things you had in common and the way you looked at her. Even when she was mine, you wanted to fuck her. And then first chance you got, you did.”
When I didn’t say anything, Colin stepped toward me, his finger raised and ready to poke my chest. “So, you did fuck her, didn’t you?”
“Get your finger out of my face,” I gritted. “And that’s none of your fucking business. You two are broken up. She doesn’t owe you anything.”
“And what about you, huh? You’re supposed to be my brother and you just go after my ex?”
“What the hell is wrong with you?” I asked, shoving his chest.
Colin stumbled back, his face red as he nearly lost his balance on the driveway.
“You tell me that you used someone just to mess with me and now are all pissed off that I have feelings for her? Get your fucking story straight, because if you genuinely cared about her, you wouldn’t be acting like this. If yougenuinelycared about her, you know I wouldn’t have done anything. But you didn’t. You never did. You treated her like shit and now are pissed off that she’s not giving you the time of day.”
“You always get what you want and always act like you’re better than everyone. Maybe, for once, I didn’t want you to have what you wanted.”
“You think I always get what I want?” I let out a dry laugh,because he couldn’t have been more wrong. I didn’t have the person I wanted most in this world. “Do you even know what I want? What my goals are? No, because you’ve never asked. You’re so goddamn selfish, Colin, that you likely just assume we want the same things in life. We couldn’t be more different, and I’m fucking glad that’s the case.” I gave him another look before walking up to the house and slamming the door behind me.
I didn’t know what I’d done to my brother to make him so pissed off, and maybe there wasn’t a single thing. Maybe it was the combination of experiences that led us to not having the best relationship to begin with.
The door opened and shut not long after.
“I don’t want you to be fucking miserable. Don’t make me sound like a jackass,” he called after me.
“Don’t need to. You’re doing a fine job yourself,” I called over my shoulder.
“Great, at least that’s something I’m good at.”
“What are you talking about now?” I couldn’t keep up with the back and forth, but it was obvious there was more here than the bombshell he’d dropped about his relationship with Eliza.
Mom came into the living room, arms crossed over her chest. “What in the world is going on in here? I expected this when you boys were growing up, but now?” She shook her head. “I don’t know what’s been going on between you two over the last few years, but it might be long overdue to talk about it.”
“That’s what I was trying to do!” Colin argued.
Mom pinched the bridge of her nose and looked down at her phone. “The person buying that couch is just around the corner. I’m going to go meet them while you two…figure this out. Like adults.”
Meanwhile, we both said, “Someone is buying that thing?”
She gave us both a look before sliding on her sandals and leaving through the front door.
“I can’t even be in the same room as you right now,” I said under my breath.
“I fucked up. You were right, and I was wrong. Is that what you want to hear?”
I turned to face him. “Do you hear yourself? You sound like a fucking five-year-old.”
