“I’m not sure if I should be sad or happy for this poor thing now.”
He backed away a little, just enough to release me and place his hands on my hips. “I read a good amount of the book,” he said, changing the subject. “Can I check a few things?”
Could he? What chapter did he evenread? I mean, I saw the table of contents…There were a lot of things he could be talking about. One of them being about the…reproduction. Although what happened this morning had beenheavenly, I wasn’t sure I was ready for more.
“R-right now?” I asked.
He nodded. “If you do not mind?”
Ohdear. Did I mind? “I-I…I don’t know. What do you—”
“Do you remember what I told you this morning?” he asked, searching my panicked eyes. I nodded. “I will not put any pressure on you for sex. This is not what this is about, I promise.”
Oh. Okay. This was good, right? Yes.
So when he pulled me by the arm toward the waterfall I followed.
“Here,” he said once we were hidden behind. “Can you sit?”
He lifted me by the waist and placed my ass on the rough wet rock by the side. I thought it would be loud in here but the little water falling was not coming from too high. But itechoed.
“Can I?” he asked, his hand hovering just over my chest. My mouth suddenly felt too dry to speak so I gave him a nod. “The book says humans’ average heartbeat per minute is between sixty and one hundred.” He placed his palm flat on my sternum. “It is hard to believe a heart can beat so fast.” He frowned and I held a chuckle. “Wow, why can I barely feel it? Is something wrong with your heart?”
I placed my hand on his and moved it slightly to the left. His eyes widened.
“Oh. I have not seen the drawings yet…Is your heart on the left and not in the middle?” He paused, deep in thought. “Or wait, do you havetwo? That would explain the high—”
“Just one. On the left. It’s hard to feel it like this though.”
“But I feel it now,” Filbur said, confused.
I smiled and took his other hand that had been softly resting on my thigh to bring it to my throat. Growing up having a lot of anxiety, I sometimes took my pulse there. For some reason, counting helped me calm down.
I pressed two of his fingers there and waited, looking at the surprise on his face.
“Oh, wow. Itisfast.”
We remained silent for a moment, and even though I was pretty sure his hand on my chest could barely feel anything, he didn’t remove it.
“Are you counting?” I asked softly.
“I am recounting.”
I arched a brow. “How many times have you counted so far?”
His brows scrunched down. “It was the third time. I have to start again, I lost count.”
A giggle escaped me. “Why are you recounting?”
“Because it is too high, it cannot be right.”
I felt perfectly fine. “This is nothing. You should feel it when I have my anxiety attacks, it getsscary high.”
He pulled both hands away and I worried I said something wrong. But he moved closer, his face inches away from mine. “Anxiety attack? Whatattack?”
Oh.Shit. “Panic?” I repeated. “It’s, uh…Stress?”
He frowned. Wow, did they not have this here? What a blessed species. “Is it like fear?”
