My shame.
And then I hear two voices. A female one and a male one, followed by another male one. But then one leaves, and it’s only Matvei and a woman.
And the voice, it… sounds just like my own.
No—
The door opens, and Polina comes in.
She’s wearing slouchy sweats, her hair in a haphazard bun, and thin little glasses on the tip of her nose as if she’s just woken from sleep and hasn’t put her contacts in yet.
"Anissa, tell me what’s going on."
She sits on the edge of the bed next to me and reaches for me, then stops herself midair and places her small hand on the bed beside me instead.
My cheeks flame with embarrassment.
I’ve only just met my sister.
I don’t know her at all.
And yet—here I am.
Bleeding through sheets. Crying from pain.
Holding onto the memory of a past I wish I could carve out of my brain forever.
I don’t want to see her right now.
Matvei is behind her, pacing on the phone.
She gentles her voice.
"I went to midwifery school," she says softly. "I know a little bit about these things. I’m not an expert, but I might be able to help. At the very least, I might know people who can."
And right in that moment, I look into the eyes of a woman I just met but have somehow knownforever.
And now, I’m crying for an entirely different reason.
I swipe at my eyes and nod.
"He needs to leave," I whisper.
She looks over her shoulder and holds her head high like the queen that she is, then jerks her chin toward the door.
"Leave us alone."
"I’m not?—"
"Go," she snaps at him.
Even from here, in my daze of confusion, I see the way his eyes narrow, his shoulders snap straight, and then he turns and walks away.
She’s the wife of thepakhan.
He can’t disobey her.
"There," she says with a smile that somehow makes the pain seem a little more bearable.
