“How was your day?” I asked brightly.
She looked up from her bowl of soup, spoon in midair. “Mom, really?”
“What?”
“I don’t know what you’re doing. Making me quit my job. Storming out of the shop. What happened?”
“Nothing happened, which is exactly the point.”
“What does that mean?”
“I asked him why he didn’t take me to the wedding.”
She flinched. “Oh. What did he say?”
What had he said? He hadn’t answered the question. “Actually, he didn’t answer me. He just said he wanted to slow down.”
Her face fell. “But why? He seemed so happy with us.”
“I don’t know. Men mostly prove who they really are pretty fast.”
“But you’re just taking it slower, right? Not breaking up.”
I set down my spoon. “Annie, do you really think staying with a man who isn’t sure about you is the right lesson to teach my daughter?”
“He said he isn’t sure how he feels about you?”
“Yes. And he knows the stakes are higher because of you. He doesn’t want you to grow accustomed to having him around when he’s not sure how he feels.”
Annie was shaking her head. “That doesn’t even make any sense. He’s obviously crazy about you. Everyone can see it.”
“Apparently, everyone’s wrong. Just like me.”
“Did you end it, then?” When I returned to my soup instead of answering, she threw up her hands. “You did, didn’t you?”
“What else could I do and leave with my dignity? I’m telling you, honey, this is just how men are. They woo you, suck you in by being all nice to you and your child and then they decide they want to keep looking around to see if they can find someone better. Or they just leave. Nothing but a note of explanation about how they just turned their family’s life completely upside down.”
I realized what I said after it was too late. Annie stared at me, her eyes glassy.
“I’m sorry,” I said. “I didn’t mean that.”
“Mom. You know dad was sick. It wasn’t like he left for some floozy or whatever.”
I sighed. “Yes, I know. He was sick. It wasn’t his fault.” Why, then, did I have this sudden rage? Was I mad at Jon? Or Dorian? Or myself? Maybe all three.
“Did you even give Dorian a chance?” Annie asked. “Or did you just cut him off like you do.”
“I don’t do that.”
“Right. You always give people the benefit of the doubt,” Annie said.
“I do. Until they prove me wrong.”
She didn’t say anything for a moment, stirring her soup instead of eating.
“Honey, I’m sorry about all of this. I shall remain free and easy from now on. Just me and you. How we like it.”
She looked up at me. “Mom, I don’t like it. I want a dad. I want you to be happy with someone. I want that someone to beDorian. And also, how could you quit my job for me? I loved it there. You had no right to do that without asking me first.”
