You ever havethat moment where you see a guy and your whole body freezes still and then turns hot? Your heart starts beating fast and your stomach flips over and over and over and all you can think isOh hot damn, that man is smoking hot and I want him right now. I want him to look at me, smile at me, run up to me, grab me, pull me into his arms, kiss me hard, and then run his finger down my cheek and tell me I’m the woman he’s been waiting for his whole life. You ever experience that? Some people call it love at first sight. Others call it lust at first sight. Still others call it a chemical imbalance. I call it what I feel for Parker Brookstone every time I see him. He’s that one guy I can’tget out of my blood. That guy I’ve fancied for more years than I like to think of. His is the smile I see when I think of dying or getting married. Either one. Not that I think of dying often. Or getting married. Though sometimes I can be slightly morbid. Sometimes I think to myself,Would Parker care if I died? Would he love me then? Would he want me then?Yeah, I’m a sad case. I think about Parker every single day, without fail. Even when I’m trying not to think about him. Some people would call me obsessed. They’d say I’m like the girl fromFatal Attraction. Only, perhaps I’m worse. I’ve never dated Parker. I’ve never kissed him. Never slept with him. Never even held hands with him. Parker Brookstone doesn’t even know I exist. Well, as a woman. He knows I exist as a human being. I’m best friends with his sister, Mila. And no, that hasn’t gotten me any brownie points. If anything, it’s made me even more hands-off. To be fair, I don’t know if Parker would have wanted me even if I weren’t friends with Mila. He’s the kind of guy who likes to have fun. I can’t think of any girl he’s dated seriously or for a super long time. Which used to make me happy. But now it makes me wonder why. It’s not like his parents had this crazy, shady marriage or that he’s been super terribly hurt by an ex. From what I know, he’s never had his heart broken. Or even been in love. Which makes me both happy and sad. I’m a terrible romantic, so it makes me think,Ooh, well maybe I’m his true love, his one and only. It makes my heart beat rapidly when I think of him telling me he loves me. Oh my God, could you even imagine how that would feel? Having him tell me he loves me, that I’m the only woman he’s ever loved? It would be like something out of a movie. Something that we’d tell our kids and grandkids. Something I would dream about in my grave (I told you I was morbid). I know, I know. I’m unrealistic and a dreamer. And probably too old for these sorts of pipe dreams.
I don’t know how some women seem to have it so easy. They blink and they get the guy they want. I blink and I smudge my mascara and eyeliner and end up looking like a skunk or raccoon. Never mind getting the guy to notice me. Unless of course he notices the eyes and wonders if I’m okay because I look like I’ve been crying or beaten. That’s my luck.
Not that it mattered. Because there I was, standing on Parker’s doorstep, waiting for him to answer the door and let me into his apartment. This was going to be my moment. I was going to make my move. To make Parker Brookstone fall in love with me. Or at least take me to his bed. I deserved that at least, right? Hot sex is better than nothing. At least that’s what I kept telling myself.
I took a deep breath before I knocked on the front door. My heart was in my mouth. I, for some reason only known to God, was hoping that today was going to be the day that my luck changed and Parker suddenly looked at me and told me he loved me. I knew it wasn’t realistic. I knew life didn’t go like that. And I knew I was only looking for more heartache. He wasn’t going to just fall in love with me like that. This wasn’t the movies. I’d known him for so long and he’d never fallen for me. Not even when I looked super hot in short skirts and tight dresses. Not even the time I “accidentally” walked into his bedroom in only my underwear. Not even the time we’d gone to the hot tub and I’d worn my tightest, skimpiest bikini. I hadn’t even seen him giving me a look of appreciation. It was sad. I was a sad case. I wasn’t sure how I’d let it get to this point. I felt like I was wasting my life away waiting for him to fall in love with me. But I just couldn’t stop. I was hoping for the fairy tale, but I wasn’t sure the fairy tale would ever happen for me. Ever.
Parker opened the front door before I had a chance to knock or ring the doorbell. “Hey, stranger, why’re you just standing on the doorstep?”
“Sorry, I was daydreaming.” I smiled at him, giving him my most winning smile, trying to position my face in an angle that showed off my features the best.
“Come on in. Mila and Ryker will be here in a second.” He stepped back and ushered me in. “Ryker says the reservation for the go-karts is a little later than he’d originally thought, so we’re going to grab dinner first.”
“Awesome,” I said as I stepped inside, slightly disappointed. He’d barely glanced at me, and certainly hadn’t seemed to notice my new tight jeans or the cute top I’d bought especially for the occasion. I followed him down the corridor to his living room and tried to stifle my sigh. I was an idiot for feeling upset. I wasn’t sure what I’d been expecting, but I had hoped for more than I’d gotten. But maybe it wouldn’t be so bad. I mean, we were still spending the evening together.
“So I’m just going to go and finish up an email.” He gave me a grin as he stood in the doorway of the living room and ushered me in. “Have a seat and I’ll be right back.”
“Oh, okay.” I nodded and walked over to his couch and sat down. I looked at him for a few seconds and then back at my lap.
“Here’s the remote. You can watch some TV if you want.” He handed it to me and our fingers brushed for a few seconds, and I felt a secret thrill running through me. I looked up at him to see if he’d felt it too, but he didn’t even look at me.
“Oh yeah, you want something to drink?” He stopped and looked back at me, his eyes friendly, if nothing else, as he glanced at me. “Sorry, I’m a bad host sometimes.”
“I’m okay, thanks,” I said as I shook my head. “Plus, I know where the kitchen is, so I can help myself if I get thirsty.”
“Yeah, you can.” He laughed and nodded. “Just don’t go snooping.”
“What would I go snooping for?” I questioned him, slightly annoyed.
“Who knows why you and Mila like to snoop?”
“What are you afraid I’ll find?”
“Ha, you don’t want to know.” He wiggled his eyebrows at me.
“I do want to know. That’s why I’m asking.”
“Big man stuff.” He winked at me.
“As opposed to little man stuff?” I tilted my head to the side.
“As opposed to little boy stuff.” He laughed. “I don’t know what a little man is.” He paused. “Well, I know what a little man could be, and I’m certainly not a little man.”
“Okay,” I said, my face turning red at his words. I was pretty sure I knew what he was alluding to and I couldn’t believe he’d said that to me.
“Sorry, that was inappropriate.” He laughed. “But yeah, help yourself to whatever you want.”
“I will.” I nodded. “Does that include all the naughty stuff I find as well?”
“I can hook you up with some condoms if you think you’ll be in need.” He stared at me then, his eyes curious as he gazed at me.
“I’m fine, thanks.”
“Good.” He nodded, more seriously this time, the smile on his face not as huge. “How is your dating life going, anyway?”
“Great,” I lied. “Almost too many men to keep up with.”
“So, no one special?” He glanced at me for a second and then looked over my body before looking back at my face.
