“Sure, you do.” I winked at him. “Any more questions?”
“Favorite movie?”
“Ooh, good one. Let me think. Um, I think it would have to beCasablanca.”
“Oh, wow.” He looked at me with an impressed expression. “I have to go withThe Godfather. Favorite TV show?”
“Honestly?” I laughed. “I absolutely loveThe King of Queens, because I think Kevin James is hilarious. You?”
“Breaking Bad, all day, every day.” He grinned. “WithThe Walking Deada close second.”
“Aww, I haven’t watched those shows yet,” I said. “I need to, though.”
“Maybe we can do aBreaking Badmarathon,” he suggested. “I’d love to watch it all the way through again.”
“Yeah, that would be cool,” I agreed. “I’ve heard good things about it.”
“Awesome.” He broke off a piece of the muffin and continued chewing. “So there’s this art exhibit coming to town next week featuring some Impressionist pieces from Monet, Manet, Degas, and some others from some private collection. I was wondering if you’d be interested in going with me?”
“Are you asking me on a second date?” I asked, surprised.
“I know. I know. I should play it cooler.” He laughed as he stared at me. “And I know you barely know me and this date has barely started, but I just wanted you to know that I’m definitely interested in seeing you again.”
“Thank you. I think I’d like that.” I nodded and took a piece of the muffin. “Now, tell me more about this movie that we’re going to see. You’ve got me all curious.”
“I can’t tell you too much or I’ll spoil it.” He grinned. “But I can tell you that what you think is happening is not what’s really happening or what’s going to happen.”
“Hmm, really?” I was thoughtful. “How so?”
“I can’t tell you more.” He laughed. “You’ll just have to see.”
“Argh. I hate surprises.” I laughed and then froze as I heard my phone beeping. I ignored the sound and tried to quiet the thought that perhaps it was Parker texting me. I was not going to think about him. I wanted him off of my mind.
“Is that your phone?” Luke asked me curiously. “I don’t mind if you check your messages.”
“No, it’s fine. I’m sure it’s nothing important.” I smiled at him, ignoring the slight turning in my stomach.
“If you’re sure,” he said as he took another bite of the muffin. “Maybe your friends are texting you to make sure you’re still alive. Or maybe they’re trying to give you an out. Which I suppose is a good sign for me because you’re not answering the phone and accepting it.”
“This is a good date. I don’t need to flee.” I grinned and then frowned slightly as I heard my phone beeping again.
“Check it.” He laughed. “Obviously whoever is trying to text you is concerned and needs an update.”
“Haha, yeah, maybe,” I said, my stomach churning as I picked up my phone. I put in my password and looked at my messages. There was a message from Mila and several from Parker. I took a deep breath and opened up the messages. “Lara, I’m so sorry about what happened this afternoon. Please forgive me. Have a nice date. I’m sure he’ll love you. You’re an awesome gal. Please call me when you get back from your date so I know everything is okay.”I stared at the screen, my heart once again feeling low. I felt a burning pain and anger at Parker as I stared at his messages. Why couldn’t he just leave me alone? Why did he have to torment me so? I looked up at Luke, who was staring at me curiously, and I gave him a weak smile. “It’s my friend Mila making sure the date is going well.” I looked back down at my phone and deleted the messages from Parker. I wasn’t going to respond. And I sure as hell wasn’t going to call him later. He could piss off. I was done with him. I wasn’t playing his games any longer. I didn’t need any more heartache and I didn’t want to waste my time anymore.
“So tell me more about this movie, then,” I said to Luke as I put my phone back into my bag. “What exactly did your friend work on?” I leaned forward and pushed Parker to the back of my mind. I was going to focus on Luke now. He seemed nice and cute and he was interested in me, which was a great thing.I needed someone who wanted to see me and hang out with me, not someone who wanted to play games with my heart.
Chapter 15
Parker
“So how wasyour third date with Luke?” Mila asked Lara, and I felt my stomach curdle involuntarily. I looked at Lara’s face, a grin plastered on mine, but inside I wasn’t feeling like smiling. I watched as Lara giggled nervously, and as her eyes looked into mine, I could see a flush on her face. I could tell she’d had fun and that made me mad. Not that it was the only reason why I was feeling pissed. Lara hadn’t responded to any of my texts or Facebook messages since the day we’d made love, and it was driving me crazy not knowing what she was thinking or doing. Or how her date with Luke had gone. Now I knew it had gone well, seeing as Mila was talking about three dates. Three dates in two weeks? What the hell? Was the guy eager or what? I could feel my stomach churning as I wondered if they’d kissed or made love. Was that why she hadn’t messaged me back? Had she already moved on? I sat there trying to pretend I didn’t want to ask Mila to leave the room. I was lucky to even have gottenan invite to hang out, seeing as it seemed like Lara was trying to avoid me.
“It was fun, thanks,” she said simply, her eyes on Mila. She still had barely looked at me and it was infuriating. Was she going to continue ignoring me?
“What did you guys do? Did he kiss you yet?” Mila asked eagerly, and I wanted to tell her to shut up. I didn’t want to hear about Lara’s date. Who cared? I guessed the feeling in my stomach told me that some part of me cared. And that made me mad. I didn’t care about the dates. I more cared that she was upset at me. Lara wasn’t what I wanted. She was a great girl, but I didn’t love her and I didn’t want to spend my life with her. To be fair, I couldn’t see myself spending my life with anyone. I ignored the voice in me that was telling me I was lying to myself. I just couldn’t let myself get into this situation. I wasn’t sure what I was thinking or feeling anymore. I just knew I was starting to feel like I was going crazy and that I couldn’t get Lara out of my mind and I just wasn’t sure why.I should be happy she’s dating someone she likes. I should be happy that she’s finding love, because I sure as hell can’t give her that.We just weren’t compatible in that regard. And to pretend otherwise just wasn’t fair. It wasn’t fair to her, and Mila would kill me if I continued to push things knowing that. I could ignore the small pangs of annoyance and pain that befell me when Lara talked about men. I would just have to get over it. I mean, she deserved a good guy. Deserved a man who wanted what she wanted. In truth, I was still attracted to other women, even though I was also attracted to Lara.
But even though I knew her style of commitment wasn’t for me, there were times I looked at Lara and my heart skipped not one but two beats. Sometimes, I didn’t want to walk away from her. Sometimes, I could just drown in her eyes. Sometimes, I just wanted to reach out and touch her cheek or brush a hairaway from her face. Sometimes, I just wanted to hold her hand. When her face looked sad or when I heard uncertainty in her voice, I just wanted to tell her she could talk to me. I wanted to tell her there was nothing she couldn’t share with me. And more recently, I hadn’t been able to sleep without thinking of her and checking her Facebook page to see if I could find out what she was doing. I checked my phone umpteen times a day to see if she’d texted me back. I wanted to know what she was thinking, if she was mad. I had knots in my stomach. And I hated it. I hated this feeling of uncertainty. I hated not knowing why I felt this way. I hated thinking about her with Luke.
