I guzzle my beer. Why did my stomach feel so funny when she said that she didn't care if she ever met Ma and Dad?
"Yeah, Natalia can be like that. She doesn't take no for an answer. And my mom's dinners are pretty darned good, as you'll see. Makes the best Italian-Puerto Rican fusion food in all of Florida. We've been trying to get her to open a restaurant at the resort for years, but she says she wants to cook for family only."
"Cool, cool." Her nodding is a little too enthusiastic. We both swallow our drinks and eye each other. Lately when we're together, it's just the two of us. We talk about her business, watch movies, sleep, eat. Do stuff. Kiss. We're good at us. But in a room full of my whole family, with her laughing at Dad's jokes, well that's a different kind of together. It's as if this is my first day with legs. I don't know where to stand, how to move, even how to pronounce words.
Which is weird since I'm normally so smooth with women.
"Hey, uh, want the grand tour of the house? This is where I grew up," I stammer.
"Sure, yes, that would be nice," she says quickly.
As I'm calculating how long it will be before Ma serves dinner, Tate, Isabella, and Steve materialize next to us.
"Oh, I'm down for this tour. I want to provide my own version of events while you narrate." A laughing Tate tucks Steve under his arm. "Let's show Leilani where you and Damien used to pretend to be WWE wrestlers in the garden first. Or show her that photo album of you at the mermaid park in Weeki Wachee when you were like thirteen. You made us get pictures of you with all the mermaids. See how dreams come true, little bro?"
Leilani lets out a genuine, sparkling laugh and pinches my side. I groan, loudly.
Over the next couple of hours, I watch as Leilani charms my entire family. While appetizers are passed around, she chats with Dad and Ma. They both love the idea of her mermaid bar. Then again, who doesn't?
As Nat serves the lasagna, Leilani sits in between me and Lauren. She ends up talking to her more than me. Apparently, they already have plans for some big social media push for Mermosa. They have an entire calendar laid out, one that Isabella, Nat, and Kate have helped with.
"I'd love to get you in the water, Mrs. Hastings. Wouldn't you like to slip on a mermaid fin?" Leilani leans forward and peers at Ma.
"That's an incredible idea," Lauren says. "I think I could sell those photos. Maybe to a women's magazine, or like AARP. To show that women are still sexy and adventurous after fifty."
"Damn straight," Dad growls.
Leilani claps her hands. "I love it!"
Plans are made to fit Ma with a mermaid tail. That morphs into the idea of a private swim with all of them, and an underwater video. Right before my eyes, the woman I've been hanging out with forms a mermaid girl gang with all the women in my family.
My chest tightens. I adore her and all, but what happens when this is over? What if she wants to move on and be alone? Or, heaven forbid, date some other guy? My family will blame me. They'll think I drove her away. I'm already the jester of the family.
And the idea of Leilani eventually wanting something more and dating another guy makes me crack open another beerin despair. I sit morosely, listening to all of them talk about mermaids and swimming and the best days of the week to launch a new business.
Everyone has an opinion. Except me.
Max, being the Type A businessman that he is, has some tips and ideas for her. Of course, he does. Know it all.
"I thought you were her mentor." Max jabs my ribs with his elbow.
"I'm supposed to be, you jerk," I grumble.
Over dessert, Leilani gets into a deep conversation with Tate and Isabella about wild monkeys in Florida. I had no idea that Leilani knew so much about monkeys. Or primates. She seems to be up on pending research of wild monkeys at the University of Florida (which impresses Tate, I can tell), as well as trends in conservation (which pleases Isabella), and has photos on her phone of a monkey in a tree near a north Florida spring.
"There's a place called Monkey Island, where they all live," she says to Isabella, who is bowled over by her knowledge. "It was near the mermaid park where I worked."
"No way," Isabella cries, delighted.
Plans are made for a road trip to see the monkeys. "Remy, you need to come with us," Natalia says.
I shrug and sip my beer. Doesn't Leilani's controlling ex live up north? The thought sours my mood further. And how did I not know that my friend-with-benefits is a primate expert in addition to being a mermaid?
Max glances at me and smirks. "You're pretty quiet today,brotato."
I shrug. I don't know why, but something about this afternoon isn't sitting well with me. Or, maybe it's sitting too well with me. It's adorable how she's getting on with my family. But I also worry because she's so cozy with my family. NowI'll have to manage their expectations because they're bound to think we're serious.
Or they'll be upset when Leilani and I finally end it. Which will be a long time from now, I hope. Because what we have is special. Unique. As rare as those wild Florida monkeys, as far as I'm concerned.
